It was to happen,
could see in eyes,
would say me goodbye.
inside a crazy will
born forever beside.
opening window of room,
noticed big world
waiting for you outside.
knew through azure door you leaving,
minimum chances of seeing again,
feeling an enormous despair:
being left..
imagining a way to relieve,.
nobody understand,
what happened,
memories cry,
pain invisible to eyes.
don't know to whom deceiving,
stupid arrogant excuses,
everything passes,
less pain..
a great longing...
Author notes
~spiritualangel~
Prompt: Thriugh the blue door
A contest entry
- through the blue door by Cat.
700 points, ended December 12, 2007, 23 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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Mary asked me to help with the judging - so here I am.
There's quite a pace to this poem and I'm sure the process of love, goodbye and longing and then release takes a little longer....longing is indeed a blue door.
~ Nicolette
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some really nice ideas here- they feel a bit like a list?- i'm not sure if that was your intention..
but i am glad to find this piece here
m -
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Yes, you're right. Thanks for wonderful observatory comment.
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"memories cry,
pain invisible to eyes." - nice words
I like the effect of this fellow poet. The words are true and very much felt. On a personal note, I suggest you use "understand" instead of understanding. It did break my moment for a few seconds. It'll be a better piece - I promise.
Thanks for sharing and keep writing.
VIRGOAN
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You're right. ThANKS..
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Nice!!!Very nice!!!I enjoyed reading this very much...I love dthe last part most...It carried me away and after i had finished reading it, it left a great longing...great job!!!I love it!!!
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