Walking down this path I'm on
not knowing whats ahead.
And just like a newborn fawn,
my legs made out of lead.
Stumbling over sticks and stones
I make it around a turn.
Ache begins to fill my bones
as the chilly winter burns.
A light shoots across the sky
and dances off the snow.
I let out a gentle sigh...
"Nowhere else to go!"
I wish upon that shooting star,
that warming light above.
Hoping it would heal these scars
that remain because of love.
The sun grows up on the hill
melting the snow away.
My hopes and dreams left un-fullfilled,
letting my heart decay.
Another wintery season
passed by me yet again.
And still I have no reason
for this pain that had began.
Grass begins to come alive
while I stand, still dead inside.
With nothing left on which to strive,
my hopes and dreams subside.
Waiting for another star
another chance for love.
Living for a miracle so bizarre...
an answer from above!
A contest entry
- Inspire a young depressed soul, give me inspiration by Fedrizzi.
340 points, ended December 20, 2007, 26 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - My Contest! by lemonhead.
520 points, ended January 12, 2008, 25 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Just Give Me Something To Read by HerbalGoat.
300 points, ended January 18, 2008, 88 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
HELP ME PLEASE!!!
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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Brilliant...
You took the words out of my own mouth before I had chance to speak them...
Brilliant.
It shows how I feel and think, only with rythm...
Keep on writing for the rest of us...
-Annie(dying in the)Shadows♥
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I really love this poem. you've done a wonderful job with it. The flow is really good and i like the nature references with your emotions. Great Job.
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wonderful piece here (^.^) well written and the rhyme scheme was also good. I felt a connection in the 3rd and 4th stanzas, and me finding myself connected to a poem happens not often. Ty for the piece and good luck in the contest
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AWESOME
That's really good! I can relate to the whole "Ache begins to fill my bones as the chilly winter burns." Finish it, because it is great.
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I like this poem a lot. It's really cool, and I think here you've done you're best on rhyming. Very enjoyable. I like the second stanza best: "Stumbling over sticks and stones
I make it around a turn.
Ache begins to fill my bones
as the chilly winter burns." I don't really know why, but it just hits me, and i like it. Good job!
And, it feels like it's finished, it has the build up, and then the downhill ending. But if youa dd more to it, it better be kick butt!
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