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Laura



Cotton candy
glass
made ready to eat
 a world
of no rules
and I take what I want.



She'd give you the moon
she made on
wax paper
only to watch you toss
it back in her lap.

I've only seen her
tears once;
the day she buried
her goldfish.

She said he'd always
wanted to walk
on two feet.

Upright and Alone.

I wondered
as I watched her tiny hands
in the soil,
can prayers really be heard
above the clouds?

If so,
 God
give her Love.

Author notes

the light out of the darkness...

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 18 of 18

  • SeptemberFaith
    February 15, 2008

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    Touching the very core of my heart. This is the true heart of you Cat... giving to a fault.

    Beautifully written.

    Criss


  • LadyLavender silver member
    January 13, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    sweet and sad, but so eloquently beautiful! God, you're talented!

    God Bless you!


  • macandrew
    December 11, 2007

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    A definite winner here. Beautifully written. Powerful.

    John


  • Ogreatbaldone gold member
    December 10, 2007

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    woven like a true master Cat, enjoyed this very much...everything Renee said and more...peace Terry


  • poetryality silver member
    December 10, 2007

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    My Sister,

    Your words deserve far more than this comment will give! The tempest rising in these words is beyond the cosmos. I felt the pain of her having to bury the goldfish she so dearly loved. I also felt your pain in having to watch this burial.

    There is so much here Cat. There's love, loss, pain, empathy, apathy, adoration... I could go on. I have missed your musing and need you to know that the twang in your voice, and your quip (laced with humor) still makes me chuckle out loud.

    This is a powerful poem and makes me want to stand in your ability to paint a vivid picture through heartfelt words and notions.

    BRILLIANT!


    Much Love Always ♥

    Renee


    • Catressa
      December 10, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Blushing.. You know how I get about my writing.. I am honestly startled when anyone "gets it". You honored me with a grand gesture.. And coming from you? Wow..

      I am trying to get back into the swing of poetic musings.. Glad to see it is working..

      Much Love as Always,
      Catressa


  • Star Shine
    December 10, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Wow, intricate yet very clear, wonderfully composed. Very strong.

    • Catressa
      December 10, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thank You so much Star Shine..
      I enjoyed your write as well.


  • misselaineous
    December 9, 2007
    Edit | Reply


  • tara wilson gold member
    December 9, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    this is so sad and beautiful, this is a person that needs this prayer..


    • Catressa
      December 9, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      she is a lovely and beautiful soul..
      my sister in law..

      thank you for reading hon..
      you didn't have to return the favor but I appreciate it


  • Peteskid gold member
    December 6, 2007

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    glad i'm not a [q-t] person, this is quite a poem, I like poetry with layers of meaning and distinct aspects and here you have them...all so very well done; best of luck in Renee's contest...PK


  • haikumonk silver member
    December 6, 2007
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    Wonderful write. Good luck!


  • My Nemesis
    December 6, 2007

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    This is a beautiful poem. Not surprising tho - you really do have a great talent for writing. I love the imagery in this poem - the melancholy feel to it. (or maybe that is some of my mood seeping into your words - I am never sure of that) I like the stanzas about the goldfish - walking upright and alone. The childlike simplicity of that statement - made me smile. A great job here.
    (in case you can't place me - used to be Martach Shine - changed the name a short while ago)


  • arafura
    December 6, 2007

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    walk on two feet...

    Stunning and powerful work poet! The imagery is sharp and vivid and the message clear. Another gem from your talented pen and fertile mind. Good luck in the contest!

1 - 18 of 18