Ho Ho Ho

The Santa is in town
With his address book open
Unordered list is written
Can’t find the zip codes
Someone messed the pages

Rudolf is shivering in cold
Nose turned all red
Come on Santa, he repeats
While Santa is busy making sense of his list

Santa, Mrs. Santa had told you
You need new prescription glasses
You’ve avoided all your appointments
Despite your insurance covers the expenses

But who pays the co-pay my dear?
There goes Santa on insurance companies
Well we go to move on
The night is shorter in winter
So, let me read the list for you
Rudolf helps Santa as always

Had told you to get me my Christmas gift
The latest GPS gadget from best buy
It was on 50% sale too
Its dark, no street lights
And you expect me to get around
On black ice
But you never listen to my advice
Rudolf finished with a sneeze

Oh well, let’s start all over again
I don’t want to get stuck in the hood
Even though I shopped at Wal-Mart
And duplicate name brands
For it costs me ever since my shop got locked
Just because elves didn’t have insurance
And I never paid them overtime

It’s where no man has dared to enter
It’s cold and freezing
At least they are not out in snow
Even snowman has built a home for crying out loud
Elves are fed
Have air conditioned boarding
With cute bunk beds

I just don’t understand
The officer Bush had sent over
Was nasty and demanding
Gave me a pink slip
And wished me Merry Christmas
Ok Santa, I sympathize
With a long sigh, Rudolf said
Let’s just see the windows open
And throw the gifts
For chimney is too tight
For your pot belly

You got that palm pilot last year
Under the Christmas tree from all of us
Even came with clear instructions
But you stubborn old man
Just couldn’t get rid
Of your raggedy address book

Well, so take my idea
And just call it a night
We have the world to conquer
It’s people’s fault for not trusting
Locking their windows and doors

Let’s get it on
And get it over and done
It’s snowing and my nose is cold
It’s all red and runny
I’ve been blowing with Subway tissues
For I’m out of all Kleenex

It’s Merry Christmas
Ho ho ho
Jingle bells, jingle bells
Jingle all the way
Oh what fun it is to pull old Santa
Through the wintry night
While my red nose is caught up in the cold drift
Oh yeah!
Ho ho ho Merry Christmas