Maybe when I'm stronger
I'll tell you what I need
Just a little stronger
Maybe when I'm smarter
I'll tell you what I am
But now, I'll let you wonder
Maybe when I'm braver
I'll tell you what I do
But today, I'm a coward
Maybe when I'm better
I'll tell you what I was
Tell you what I did
...
(If I ever get better, that is)
Please tell me what you think--or don't, because I don't much care.
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
-
Originality: (6/10)
Emotion: (7/10)
Poetic devices: (10/20)
Structure/flow: (8/10)
Cohension: (7/10)
Title relating to poem: (9/10)
Personal opinion: (7/10)
Syntax: (7/10)
Diction: (7/10)
Total:68/100
-
-
Thanks.
Now I know what I should work on... much better than the cliched "It's great"/"It sucks"/"It's okay" deal. -
-
You have a good idea going with this poem i just think that you can give more details and maybe use more poetic devices but from what you have it has an natural flow almost songlike.You may remove this poem and enter another one if you want.
-
-
Merci, again.
-
-
-
-
nice.. but i think it doesnt need the pause with the end.... Tell you what i did would be(in my opinion) a perfect ending. i also wish it was longer.. but i know writing for length is not what anyones should be going for. nice job.btw.. well chosen title
Adding your comment:
1 - 5 of 5
