Dark days tinged with guilt
unspoken pleas unnoticed,
the worm that wrestles with
common sense digs deep.
Tomorrow brings another day
of darker meanderings,
inability to help.
As infant logic tries to
cope in guise of man-child
so the fear springs close
that she's not here.
Oh, such bravado in broken
soul touches all who sees
a gathered tear.
As tension mounts so too
the worries of normality for this
adolescent male.
A new abode, routine and peers
all changed, what brings tomorrow?
With hearts breaking the old
and young cling close as
all around them crumbles,
a mothers daughter, a grandsons
mum no longer the mainstay.
As solitude claims her the
sentence is served by all.
Author notes
~~~
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 19 of 19
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This was a good read. A lot of pain in this poem. It flowed very well, I just wanted to keep reading it to see how it would end.
Well done.
I liked the lines "As infant logic tries to
cope in guise of man-child
so the fear springs close
that she's not here.
Oh, such bravado in broken
soul touches all who sees
a gathered tear."
Keep up the good writing.
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Fantastic! this REALLY made me think. Very few poems leave me agape like this one did! absoulutely brilliant write. Well done, and thank you for sharing
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interesting and quite thought-provoking. thanks for sharing
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Thank you
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Sounds like Jail to me, been there, done that, got the T-Shirt.
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Wonderful--Wonderful
Seriously my friend this is a wonderful poem, but I didn't get what it was about either. I did, however, thoroughly enjoy reading it. I think that you did a terrific job writing it.
Damon
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Thank you my friend. This was regarding a prison sentence of 90 days...
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very smart write...you really
drew us in with the words in each stanza, I couldn't wait
to find out how you were going to end it!
Excellent job dear poet, excellent job!!
keep writing, and writing, and writing!
ears2hearyou
Kathleen : ))
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Thank you Kathleen for your kindness, as always, very much appreciated
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"a mothers daughter, a grandsons
mum no longer the mainstay.
As solitude claims her the
sentence is served by all."
I love the connections between different people. very well written, keep it up.
♥
Bandaid.
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Glad you enjoyed it, thank you
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I love the third and fourth lines. Very neat idea. Really a well-written piece that's quite touching to read. I can't imagine being a teenager in that situation.
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Me neither, but these things happen in the real world and the person in question was not a teenager...37 to be exact with a 17 year old son. Thank you for your comments which were very much appreciated
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as i read this i kept thinking about being sent away to the hospital and having to stay there for weeks and no one being able to contact you even though they want to and you want them to (pysch ward) i then read what someone else wrote and what you wrote in response about the jail and it's pretty close. nice write, even if i didn't get the full meaning of it, but nobody truley can ever get the full meaning of any peice of writing, even if they are the ones writing it, or at least that's what i believe. Bec
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"A new abode, routine and peers
all changed, what brings tomorrow?"
This is every teenagers worst fear, even along their parents. But to lose one to a jail term is far worse. I've been there. i hope this doesnt affect you currently in your life at all. If so i am deeply sorry. Great write. Keep up the excellent penning, one stroke at a time. <333
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So sad
I felt as though you were speaking of an elderly person on the recline of life and all draws near as though to watch her fade in the return to a heavenly place a place we all are directed to go in passing
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Thank you for your kindness, no infact I was writing of a teenager who watches his mother being served a sentence of 90 days for fine violations, only to have to now live with his grandmother.
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