I have loved, least gently,
a man who had many treasons
trembling at precipice of his own reality
that rocked him on my bed.
I have my own reasons
for not going mad
along with him: Why should two jump
when one is enough to undo the problem?
I expired a million times in this life
in ways of my own concoction.
Every bone in my body has broken
by bent-back fury.
Every muscle stretched to its limit
but I have reached beyond each spasm, ready
to make gut home where it is cocooned
in layers of ice and snow.
Lift yesterday’s snowfalls: Here, here it is,
feel it flutter at thought of him;
the one who pressed matter’s pillow over my head.
In a list
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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I really like this. You were able to tell the story so fluidly with an excellent use of poetic devices!


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This is excellent, the description and at the same time the conversational feel to the piece works brilliantly together.
Really wonderfully done.
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i find a tension here that aches and cheers in the same breath. Feelings of remorse thrown againts thankfulness that leave me seeking the story that this is danced in front of. Carol there are days when I think it would be wonderful for us to sit in a sweat lodge and then afterwards in the silence of our own hearts, share stories so we could breathe in each other worlds.
Love, Tom B.

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Vivid visuals, Metaphoric meanings and seemings,
A loss... not lost on your readers. Heart-achey sad.
This one part put a smirk
on my face...
"I have my own reasons
for not going mad
along with him: Why should two jump
when one is enough to undo the problem?"
Anyhoo, a wonderful write, M'Lady.

~ Nicky♥


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"I have loved, least gently,
a man who had many treasons
trembling at precipice of his own reality
that rocked him on my bed."
Sighhh...Although the destination was slightly different, I know this path. I swear, I want a copy of everything you've ever written & will ever write. I want to hold it in my hands, consume it with my eyes, feel my heart tremble as I hear its sacred music. Dammmnnn, Woman. You're incredible in so many ways, I've lost count. Good luck in Melissa's contest, my dear Friend. Sheesh.
Wanda


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memories find those at what chills within one's life only to make one smile at what happens next.
Keep penning on one stroke at a time!
Bill

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You has such an aluring beauty in the way you assemble yours words and emotions. I am looking forward to more reads by you! You have that rare, raw, honesty, lacking in so many others. I enjoy the visions you create for (especially my own) our pleasure...


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