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~"Perspectives"~







Simplicity does it even survive within the world
of chaotic tantrums?
Pushing and shoving gnarled faces just to
be first in line.
Over exhausted charge cards still smoking
from the non approval,
voices bellowing over each other.
I stare bemused at the scene before me,
lost in kaleidoscope imagery, pondering if
there is even a glimpse of happiness mixed
within it,
Wondering what these people would do if
their were no cards to slide, nor imported food
to set upon their tables.
Or if  loved ones were ripped from them and
thrown into a war of which their was no harmony,
and peace was more then a decade away.
In sadness I bow my head and cast a wish
to my own Guardian Angel, hoping she will
catch it and hold it close within the
crevasses of her breast.
And gently sprinkle the knowledge of life, on Christmas Eve
bringing tidings and joy to the hearts of those who
only know material things.
For I understand where they are, where they have been,
how calamity is just a door knob away.
We cease to exist, until we learn life is better built
within the simplicity's that surround us and perspective
becomes our salvation!




Author notes

Picture found here
http://www.victorianvillager.bizland.com/images/auan06.jpg

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 10 of 10

  • hoodoolover silver member
    February 1, 2008
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    Wow, great write, this captures the chaos of the modern world with brilliant clarity!


  • Arizona Sunset
    January 19, 2008

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    I really love this poem. I love the flow of your thoughts that are spoken of with great meaning. The beauty of the imagery in this is so powerful and thoughtful, but so honest and true. I wish people really wouldn't want so much the material, but rather the need...just beautiful! thank you for sharing your heart in this one! ~blessings always~ Trisha


  • Amunet Wolfbane Moderators member
    December 31, 2007

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    I adore this piece, so smooth, honest and beautifully penned. One small suggestion, maybe a comma in the first line after simplicity? I think it would make it flow smoother there. Just a thought. Excellent piece!


  • Jrokku No Hime
    December 23, 2007

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    I loved this, i've been thinking this for so many years but wondering how to put it properly into words. You seem to have done it beautifuly, bravo


  • Idle Mind Wondering silver member
    December 18, 2007

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    yes, line breaks and stronger punctuation would work well to lend strength to this piece. However, I feel the lament below the surface and understand the duality of perspectives you have presented. very well done.


  • Pamela A Lamppa silver member
    December 15, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Ahhh here are some very real perspectives. I have seen this vision all too clearly lately. There is a lack of awareness among so many. How conditioned we have become.

    You have hit this prompt quite well.

    Line breaks and punctuation in this piece are a must to drive your point home. Perhaps something like:

    "Simplicity,
    does it even survive within the world
    of chaotic tantrums?

    Pushing and shoving gnarled faces
    just to be first in line,
    over exhausted charge cards
    still smoking from the non approval,
    voices bellowing over each other.

    No harmony."

    This could use some tweaking to be smoother and more effective to convey your message.

    Overall a very good entry for this contest. Best of luck in the judging. ~Pamela


  • Forgotten truth
    December 14, 2007

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    this was really good, a great message in this,, the haves and have nots. when you live in a world were if you have a hot shawer, you are rich.. love the style too..


  • Sf
    December 11, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    This is really thought provoking...thanks...good luck (not that you need it)


  • sunny day
    December 7, 2007

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    WOWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    You just blew me away totally with this one. A masterpiece of free verse that could put a whole new perspective on anyone's life. Powerful was the verbiage that created such vivid imagery and it's still flashing in my mind's eye. I'm never disappointed when I get the chance to read something from your pen so elegant. These lines really got to me because the true meaning of Christmas is so lost.

    "And gently sprinkle the knowledge of life, on Christmas Eve
    bringing tidings and joy to the hearts of those who
    only know material things."

    Thank you for sharing the gift of your pen with all of us and best wishes in the contest. This is absolutely amazing. Love and God bless you my friend, Joyce

    A very Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you and yours!


  • blondone
    December 6, 2007

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    Oh I am loving this and the truth rings loudly the imagery is profound and the flow never breaks a powerful write around making this a outstanding write and read...

1 - 10 of 10