The aardvark comes from Australia,
He always says good day to all he meets,
They say an aardvark likes termites,
But Jelly Beans is really what he eats.
The aardvark has a very long snout,
And an extra long sticky tongue,
They say it’s for eating termites,
The black ones are his favorite it seems,
Because aardvarks love the taste of licorice.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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A clever, comedic poem. The first stanza does an excellent job in keeping with the comical feel by its rhyme scheme, though sadly the next two stanzas seem somewhat disconnected from the first. However, this could be easily remedied by some minimal re-writes to keep with the set rhyme scheme. The last stanza seems to be a complete jump to the subject of Jelly Beans without any involvement of an Aardvark for the first two lines, which was somewhat confusing as a reader.
I enjoyed reading the poem, and it gave me a smile to start off my morning. If you do do any modification, do let me know, I'd love to see the results. Keep on penning!
-Thefallout
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Check it out now. Tell me what you think.
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well changed! two more small grammar and punctuation notes for ya; "But it’s for picking his favorite beans out?" shouldn't have a question mark at the end of it, and "However black is his favorite color it seems," might work better without the "however"
-Thefallout
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