the wet spot
on my thigh
still burns a little
coffee black
and eyes weep
sand solution
heavy head
slumped forward slight
snap out!
and auto pilot
smiles assurance
waiting bored
come
boarding time
as engines fire
her warmth
still lingers
many hours
and many miles
we've multiplied
and intercom
connected
"fasten seat belt"
sign insist
mellows
mumbled hush clicks
airstrip
scurries of
and I am left behind
in second class
a passenger
left stranded and abandoned
Author notes
.
A contest entry
- Contemplations: The Airport Wait by Cat.
1200 points, ended December 26, 2007, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
-
i too got a little confused at who was who? and when etc.. but I did like the overall sounds in the piece and how it fitted together well to form the whole piece..
well done and many thanks for entering -
some nice alliteration through the piece and sharp turns of phrase.. i liked the board v. bored- which is a perfect description of the hurry up and wait found at the airport-
i wondered about the story - does this mean you were left on the plane or waiting to board?-
good construction on the poem- well done..
good to find this here
m -
-
I realize it's pretty unclear but my intention was to be speaking from the pilots point of view as his wife/lover has just left him.
-
-
There were some very nice discriptions in this poem - and a very nice rythm. It brought lots of good imagery - well done
-
wow...this is intense...
wearing your trademark play of words...
this is great poetry...
left me feeling a bit stranded and abandoned too...
well done cowboy!
Blessings! Tammy
-
interesting
nice write . . your form is unusual . . also like "smiles assurance" and "mumbled hush clicks" . . unexpected ending . . all so typical of the airport . . !
Adding your comment:
1 - 6 of 6
