THE LAST TRIP
(For Gouri)
I had reached the terminal building
At the very last moment
All the passengers of my flight
Had already boarded the 'plane
The departure lounge was almost empty
Save some idling passengers
Waiting for their flight.
Emplaned, as I rushed through the aisle
To take my seat at the rear
I heard someone shouting
'Hey, you there!'
It was a cry of joy
A shout of recognition.
With hardly any time to stand and stare
And least expecting to meet
Any long lost acquaintance there
I pushed on
But the shout came again
This time more shrill and louder,
'Can't you see, it's Gouri here?'
It was Gouri indeed,
But what a change was there!
I retraced my steps
Long thirty years
The Charleville nestled
On the Mussouri hills
Hundred odd souls
In their shining youth
Yet to enter the arena
Of struggling and jostling life
Immersed in their dreams,
Not a care in the world
Sharing an existence
Free from the coming race
Which won't perhaps be fair always;
Overconfident Ashok
Making amorous advances,
And mischievous Amit
Trying to tease,
But Champak,
As one who had won the world,
Looking on in immense unconcern;
Pradip, serious always as he is,
Planning to do his best
For his country and his people;
The last - by no means the least -
The rustic fool, like a fish out of water
Breathing hard in an enclosed world
Pining for open air,
A boundless sky,
The fields full of green
And the rivers flowing free
Dreaming of a lassie somewhere
Finally to make his dreams come true.
We all had our dreams
And by now we know
How much of it has come true.
Chasing a mirage
With a gambler's zest
Did we have time to look at our selves
Do we know we have travelled
What long ways?
All these I find, Gouri,
Now mirrored in your face.
A contest entry
- Contemplations: The Airport Wait by Cat.
1200 points, ended December 26, 2007, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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Oh this
was like a dream or perhaps a nightmare. You are on the plane/train/bus and yet you have so much left undone - you spend the whole night (dream) looking for the child/luggage/life/love/whatever. This was like an ordinary night to me...
Phone your friends! xx -
Oh
suffice it to say that if we cannot be personal there is nothing left worth a word. Still loved this, and the pictures you paint of all your friends on that 'plane!!
Did you all survive? -
A strong story line and well told, but seems a little too personal and the details have a tendency to become a little lost..? - only my opinion
I don't think you need the apostrophe prior to the p in plane.. as plane is a standardised word for airplane these days....
many thanks for entering
G.x -
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pedantic? moi?!!! please dont be offended, only me having a joke xx
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chilliwoman
You are one of those people who cannot ever offend me and your jokes I appreciate very much. Please don't take me to be a blunt fellow totally lacking a sense of humour.
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I still feel very much the same that this reads much more like a short story/prose rather than poetry. While I appreciate the story and the beauty of the moment as a judge I am always apprehensive of any piece rushed into a contest-
thanks for entering
m -
Aw fuck, this was so good. It was the snapping back of the neck as we recognise a friend, beached and out of time as a fish out of water. And then you cleverly go on to enumerate yet more friends. We get an instant snapshot of each of them. I think this is a very wonderful piece of writing.
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chilliwoman
Many many thanks for your wonderful comments.
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Sometimes the rush comes as soon as we see the contest theme, and off we go. After waiting a while and coming back to the poem in a few days, we see things a bit differently and can edit and rewrite parts that could be better. Liked the flow of this and the tale you share in these lines. Easy to read and understand.
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Feel free to use the next two weeks to tweak this piece. I notice you posted within the first hour of the contest opening and that this piece reads more like a short story than poetry.
m
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