painted toes
dive deep
through clear waters
of caribbean blue
coral colored
tips
build sandcastles
underwater
digging through
snow white sands
seashell resting
on pointed arch
splashing in waves
soft... smooth... bright...
angel fish
nipping at my heels
Author notes
Contest
option 4
A contest entry
- ideas of simple by Melissa Gayle.
1000 points, ended December 10, 2007, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Pick your favorite prewrite by Loveandblessings2u.
600 points, ended December 10, 2007, 31 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Does the Ocean break upon your Heart? by Flames-of-Furey.
488 points, ended February 11, 2008, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Life Is Beautiful. [Eight Options.] by La Tua Cantante.
545 points, ended March 12, 2008, 29 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Introduce the World to Your Place by fantasysmurf.
711 points, ended March 18, 2008, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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this is beautiful
the sea or ocean is a wonderful beauty and you described it so wonderful
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Simple Power
The words of your piece are so rich, that it surrounds me, instantly. The pic also helped, is this your front yard??
I requested some descriptions, and you did that wonderfully. My favourite lines are: "digging through/
snow white sands/
seashell resting/
on pointed arch"Some people in the world are really lucky, thank you for sharing your personal slice of heaven with the rest of the World. Im just glad that I read this while it is still summer here in Aotearoa/New Zealand.
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This is such a captivating piece. It makes me wish that it was summer instead of there being snow outside.
My favorite part is:
"coral colored
tips
build sandcastles
underwater"
There's so much beautiful imagery in this. Wonderful.
Thank you and good-luck in my contest.
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ooooh very exotic and enticing!
your description is heart stopping. Thankyou for putting your option in your authors notes much appreciated.
great play withcolour here with the painted toes in clear waters and the theme of diving deep to find the treasure of the carribean blue. MY FAVORITE COLOUR!
and carribean blue is a line form a song I like by enya look it up sometime.
'coral coloured tips'
great alliteration great pace and flow great image of sudcastles underwater
'digging through
snow white sands'
beautiful imagery and alliteration I can see all these colours and the emotion of comfort.
'splashing in waves
soft... smooth... bright...
angel fish
nipping at my heels'
nice ending it really displays the excitement and harmony of being in the sea.
like all the cares in the world have been silenced by the deep blue sea.
I like the way you have starved all the senses except for sight because not I long to make it real
and I like the way you have overwhelmed my mind with metaphors becasue the image of your sea experience is imprinted
very cool!
points will increase
thankyou for your entry gopod luc
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I want to ask you to please not 5 star my comment, or comment me back in anyway. I am trying real hard not to find out who anyone is.
Your piece made me want to take a splash, get my toes wet,
but it is much to cold here in philly to do that.
This is a very cute piece of poetry.
Great job.
Thanks so much for entering my contest and good luck.
Loveandblessings2u & yours always
Joyce ;f
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BEAUTIFUL DESCRIPTIONS!!!!
I can feel the fish swimming against my legs dangling "neath the aqua- blue clear waters.
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It is a nice painted picture, there were a few places where I felt a bit overburdened with adjectives but that is just personal preference.
Nicely done. -
Makes me want to be there, I like this snapshot, simply lovely with lots of imagery.
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