The Night Before Christmas

'Twas the night before Christmas, and up at the Pole,
The reindeer ran wild and out of control,
The elves all atwitter in overdue haste,
And Santa, aghast at the mayhem he faced.

He'd already lost weight since the season began,
Through the trials and troubles he'd stuck to his plan,
There would be a Christmas, like every year,
The children'd sleep soundly, not one'd shed a tear.

But he didn't look like Saint Nicholas at all -
In climbing up chimneys he'd certainly fall,
His eyes were all squinty from missing such sleep,
His chortling like choking, his ho-ho-ho weak.

Poor Dasher and Dancer were utterly smashed,
And Prancer and Vixen had stumbled in trashed,
Both Comet and Cupid were high as a kite
And Rudolph (ironic!) was out like a light.

For Donner and Blitzen, need I carry on?
And so Santa found them, all sprawled 'cross the lawn,
Just what were the chances they'd wake up by night
To see to their duty, the children's delight?

The elves had been naughty, they'd slacked off all year,
Imagine their horror when Santa appeared!
They'd fashioned no toys, to Kriss Kringle's dismay,
And Christmas was coming in only a day!

But still Father Christmas pressed on without fear,
He'd worked off his ass; this was his whole career,
To make children happy, and damned if he'd fail,
He'd nitpicked the system, worked every detail.

And so night arrived, and they finally were done!
But then again, maybe the work just begun.
Ascending the skies with mercurial steeds,
Saint Nicholas just prayed as they hastened the speed.

By dawn, all exhausted, they headed back north,
And Santa called out as the sleigh started forth,
"Be grateful you brats, you won't always have this,
For soon you'll grow up and you'll buy your own gifts!"