Did you ever have the occasion to see
someone who was a good three hundred pounds
stuff their mass into tight spandex?
Or hear a guy who is quite obviously underage
and still living with his parents
boasting of his wartime military accomplishments?
Or have you ever had somebody
tell you that they stopped drinking
while they had a beer in their hand?
How about this one? A guy I know
got caught in a dark alley with a hose and a gas can
and told the police he was just looking for a dumpster
to throw them away into.
Riiiiight.
Or how about this? A woman, whom I had slept with myself
after my best friend, and another before him
wore a white gown to her wedding.
Who is she kidding?
Denial is not an Egyptian river.
I don't expect people to be saints
or heroes, or athletes, or even innocent
my past isn't exactly spotless
I've done some stupid things in my life
I suppose everybody does
but is it too much to ask
that people just be honest?
A contest entry
- Exasperated? by RatherImaginative.
1750 points, ended December 18, 2007, 12 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
-
my favorite line without question is "Denial is not an Egyptian River". very nice. clever and kind of funny.
the rest of this poem just seems like it needs a few revisions and a little polish. i like all the ideas, but it seems like you wrote down a conversation. seems to me like you could shave down some words and express the same ideas more poetically. but that's just me good job and good luck in the contes -
The only technical thing I need to mention in the misspelling of "caught" in your 4th stanza.
Honesty, or at the very least consistency, would truly be a lovely thing for people to make habit. Your first stanza made me laugh, because I've had those same thoughts on occasion. Too many appoint themselves official nit-picker, failing to take care of their own lice first. Thanks so much for entering my contest!
Adding your comment:
