Sleep my precious one
let ur dreams take flight
as i hold u in my arms
on your very first night
Precious eyes so bright and wide
filled with innocence and wonder
touch so gentle and skin ever so soft
no way ur making was a blunder
limbs so very fragile
needing to be handled with care
precious baby there's no reason to cry
cuz whenever u need me i'll alwayz be there
My precious little child
you were made with love
wondrous gift from above
i marvel at the blessing im holding lighted wit beams from the sun
i softly whisper in her ear
my precious one
Author notes
i dnt actually have a child, i just felt like writing about one for sum reason
A contest entry
- PreWrites Allowed enter quick!!! by Son Of The Ring.
450 points, ended January 3, 2008, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Life is a game! Get it?....No you don't. Just Come Look. by Ishtar.
600 points, ended April 21, 2008, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The Largest Contest On AP!!!! by xxRainbowDawnxx.
3000 points, ended August 26, 2008, 1668 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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The message is there. The theme is also there. You have, for the most part, stuck to contest guidelines but this poem's horrible grammar structure and chat-lingo ruined it completely for me. It's very hard to read something like this and take it seriously.
Thanks for entering.
-Reni -
hmm... It's a good poem. If you don't mind I'm going to write a serious review, though. Please realize, I'm not bashing you. I'm just trying to help you. It was a good poem, yes, but the way you spelled things had me struggling to keep the flow how it should be. I understand some people write like that and it's easier to type but it makes it harder to read. You should consider going back and spelling out the words you shortened. I was also wondering why you suddenly changed from a 4-lined stanza to a 6-lined stanza. It ruined the form and messed with the flow a little bit. Not to mention it messed up the rhyme scheme you had going, which made your last stanza have, what seems to me, a forced rhyme. It was a lovely poem. I just think you need to fix the last stanza and maybe spell out some words. Other than that, you did a good job. Any mother would love this.
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this was very good
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A lovely poem from a loving Mother!
Gentle and lovely are your words.
Good Luck in the contest!
Tang
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this is a very powerful piece...it expresses alot just three words: I LOVE I
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This is Talent
I like it. You really used your talent in a very good way. I justlike the fact that you wrote this as if you experienced this for yourself. That is using your imagination and letting the reader use theirs. You are a great writer. Keep writing and I'll keep reading.
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dat was cute
i liked it. its like a baby mama anthem when da kidz not gettin on there nerves lol. sorta like when da kid still in da delivery room
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Wow!! This is so sweet and adorable
I liked this one very much. I am glad you aint got no little one quite yet because your too young and you still have to finish school young lady 
ANyways, this was sweet I really love it 
I hope you are having a great night
God Bless You!!
Charles
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U betta not. lol. This is a sweet little poem.
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lol now u KNO i dnt
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Where this come from...? It's good though!!!!!
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idk...jufelt like writing sumthin like dat for sum reason..
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Aww, it's amazing how you can write about such a beatufiul love between mother and daughter(son, baby, whichever
) like you're personifying the future, giving it life that it doesn't quite have yet, ensuring something so beautiful... You will be a good mommy one day if you decide to be one 
GREAT job
diggin it majorly
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I KNEW IT... I KNEW YOU WERE KNOCKED UP!!! LOL j/p, but, This is so similar to my poem, "My precious little girl". But it DOES osund like you though, I mean, hey, when your daughter gets to be 2 months she can look you face to face lol.
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alwayzzz with the jokes...he/she will NOT be able to look me in the face...ooh i jus of sumthing....i probably shud put in the notes that i dnt actaully HAVE A CHILD LOL
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i have nothing to say expect................TEARS!
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