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Blue

She says,
'Forty in blue
Are you.'
And he looks past her, on the winter.

She says,
'Forty in blue
Are you.'
And he looks past her, out to the street.

She says,
'Forty in blue
Are you.'
And he looks past her, on the winter.

She says,
'You are Forty, and gently you are complete.'

She says,
'You are sky',
And he says,
'You leave me none.'

Author notes

Um, yeah, the 'Forty' does NOT refer to forty years of age.

For the Invent-A-Form, this form (which I call the 'Cinque') contains 5 stanzas and revolves around one key word, which is featured in the first 4 stanzas. The first and third stanzas are the same (four lines, rhyming pattern of 'abbc'), the second stanza is the first stanza with a different end line. The fourth stanza is only two lines long and its last line rhymes with the last line of the second stanza. The fifth stanza has four lines, does not rhyme with itself or anything, and should serve to wrap the whole thing up a bit. Optional: all five stanzas can begin with the same line, as shown in 'Blue'.

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 8 of 8

  • Skwisgaar Skwigelf
    September 12, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    its good.... if not great.

  • h202
    February 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    i do like this. i don' understand at all why it's necessary to basically word for word repeat the first stanza as the third stanza, but the rest of it makes for a good poem. i like much that 'forty' isn't referring to age, though i'm not sure what it is referring to. beer? forties of beer? kinda makes sense with the ending, "you leave me none". anyway, good, abstract, overall thought-provoking. thanks for entering


  • Dorcha Runda
    December 15, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    i don't get what the poem is about...help?


  • Melodies
    December 7, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Sorry, can't read this... or the author's notes

    I wish I could read your poem and learn about your inventive form. Could you please change the background/font colors... something?


  • islekine gold member
    December 6, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    I absolutely can not read this combo

    Sorry....don't know if it's the computer...or my eyes,
    or both!


    • Dragomiloff
      December 6, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      it may be your computer, since I and IamRemy can read it...anyway I'll get something new. Thanks for letting me know.


      Here...instead of modifying this one I added this one again and submitted a different background: http://allpoetry.com/poem/3681684


  • Dragomiloff
    December 6, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    well thanks
    I just wrote a shorter poem that may explain just a bit about this, it's simply called 'She Says'.

    http://allpoetry.com/poem/3679834 here's the link


  • IamRemy
    December 4, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I really liked this one despite me having no knowledge of the meaning of the poem ha!

    I love ambiguity.

1 - 8 of 8