Alarms go off at four, now they are mute.
The clocks are silent till the next of days.
By teleport we come, or parachute.
We travel over ninety miles and ways.
We sign the lists that come and go again.
We know by heart the names of countless wives.
We talk to screens, some think we're crazy men.
A fairy louse appears in students' lives.
A break, the need for caffeine in our veins
is strong, we must have coffee now and here.
Small cups of black, cheap gold recharge our brains.
This dark addiction starts at freshmen's year.
We do a lot of stuff, as you can see
and also rhyme at university.
A contest entry
- Anything Goes (Almost Anything) by Carly Pop.
500 points, ended December 15, 2007, 23 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - #6 OPTIONS CONTEST (: by Walk-Free.
700 points, ended January 6, 2008, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - # 37 Open to Allpoetry: Petrarchan; Shakespearian and Spenserian Sonnets by Lyndon.
1750 points, ended February 6, 2008, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Inspire me; Anything Goes by wolfcub.
450 points, ended April 16, 2008, 54 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Shakespearean Sonnet Competition: "PREVIOUSLY WRITTEN" WORK ONLY. by Vera Rich.
490 points, ended June 15, 51 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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I'm gratified to see that students may
Take time out from their studies to write poems
A sonnet in that old Shakespearean way
Is worth much more than many dusty tomes.
How cool to bring the sonnet up to date
And paint a picture of the modern world,
Would William recognise this techno-state
Where coffee rules, and words through space are hurled?
'Tis true, we've changed a lot since Shakespeare's times
But yet we still take pleasure in his words
Pentameters, and freshly glorious rhymes
Which strut upon the page like talking birds.
Let's strut and fret our hour upon the stage
Preserve the memory of Avon's sage.
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Now this one I really do love. It shows that one can write a Shakespearean sonnet and still be totally flip. I love the construction - it's spot on - I love the wholly modern context. And yet there is something which subtly reminds me of Blake's Jerusalem... what is it? Ah yes - the "dark, Satanic mills" of that poem were the colleges of theology of his day (and not the foundries of Lancashire and Coalbrookedale).
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This would have been so enjoyable - if only you had not spoiled the impact with the totally unnecessary notes. They completely destroyed the fun of identifying and perceiving your allusions. Please do not let being at university turn you into an intellectual snob! I am putting it on to the short-list though - for it is a good poem... and will certainly earn you some points... So please do not remove the poem! It is only the NOTES which should be binned!
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I like sonnets. I like this one too. And it's very clever. Hehe.
Thankyou for entering and good luck
Katie -
You have written a mechanically precise Shakespearean sonnet which makes light of life as intended: a poem injected with fun.
As I cannot properly guess what option you took, I shall not digress there. Thank you for your pleasant entry.
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This is a good sonnet, the meter is clear and rhymes are Shakespearean. It is not clear to me how it relates to the four options, but I relate to university stress and coffee requirement. Thank you for entering this sonnet.
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A nice sense of humor infuses the poem, which moves confidently through its rhythms and rhymes. Diction is modern, contemporary, which makes the content stand out, as it should.
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very good, this was a fun read. A nice change from the longing and the yearning.
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Hee, nicee
Coffee. What a wonderful, wonderful addiction
-addict at 14 >.>;;-
This made me giggle
Although I didn't understand half of it, I'm one of those people who finds the weirdest things entertaining.
Anyway, thanks for entering!
And I wouldn't mind knowing what the joke was
P
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ahhh.... coffee but after 45 years it might come after you. Je bent gewaarschuwd. And American studies?? Try to understand how they feel, it might be not a lucky choice this tittle. Never the less I like the jokes and the way you put them onto rhym.
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I think there are loads of 'inside jokes' in your poem!
Didn't quiet understand it all
But this was what I liked:
"A break, the need for caffeine in our veins
is strong, we must have coffee now and here.
Small cups of black, cheap gold recharge our brains.
This dark addiction starts at freshmen's year."
Really honest
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thank you for your entry!
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cool
very nice way of descrining college and also pretty unique from anything else i've read on the subject
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