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Pomegranate

 

the 5:35 gate opens and closes uneventfully

exhaling work day blues behind with a soft thud

voluntarily locking the world out; and herself in

as hidden tears held by pretty public smile break

 

free at last

 

falling into absolut rocked and sweet pomegranate juice

as the sounds of nothing and no one and yet everything

blend into blurred bliss of cigarette smoke and home

 

Author notes

prompt: Fragrance of Isolation

8 lines

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 14 of 14

  • Grey Mouser
    December 10, 2007

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    Wonderfully written, great use of imagery that brings this self forced isolation an escape from the daily inconsistencies whixch plague one. Thanks for entering into the contest.
    Be well and be blessed,
    Mouser


  • paulcreates silver member
    December 9, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Wow this paints the picture perfectly Tam. Beautiful poem.


  • Mirthryl
    December 4, 2007

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    Very nice intro to 'automatism' workday. Enjoyed her "voluntarily locking the world out" after being compelled to deal with it all day long. I don't understand what you mean by "rocked" (iced?). Nice windup with the nothing/everything and alliteration in last two lines.


    • Tam
      December 4, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      thank you beautiful!

      yes ma'am...rocked is iced indeed!
      thank you for the visit and your kind words...
      you leave me with a smile!
      Blessings! Tammy


  • daviscth silver member
    December 4, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    What a great imagery filled piece of work my dear friend!! I'm sure this will be hard to top. Good luck in the contest. Love ya lots, cathy


  • LadyDementia gold member
    December 4, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Fabtastic!!

    A wonderful poem. Goes with the prompt really well. Best of luck in your contest.


  • Poetic-Theorem silver member
    December 4, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Brilliant!!!!!

    An Outstanding take on the prompt, "Fragrance of Isolation." With all the "rate race" and hell we must deal with everyday leaves us exhausted and often depressed as we come down from the hectic day.

    We all need those pleasent moments of isolation to get ourselves back to face another day. I can smell and taste the fragrance in your elegant words. Still, no matter how much we isolate to find a momment of peace, the real word sneaks in to blend with our momment of peace and bliss.

    "free at last

    falling into absolut rocked and sweet pomegranate juice
    as the sounds of nothing and no one and yet everything
    blend into blurred bliss of cigarette smoke and home"

    Bravo...WEll PENNED!
    I wish you the best in the contest!
    Many blessings,

    ~David~




  • sheltered
    December 4, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Awesome

    I love the way this plays like a Friday afternoon
    when weak from a long weeks work.
    Open wide and say ahhhhh... I'll call the nurse.

    • Tam
      December 4, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      LOL

      my Dr. Cowboy is always on call...for emergency visits...


  • tara wilson gold member
    December 4, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    LOL...I just got home home from work tonight....and I could use one of these....'s

    excellent poem..

    as always!!!!


  • eyesofanangel524
    December 4, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I could see this and smell this...even almost taste this. The things we do in isolation...locking out the world and those who have created the mass chaos. Wonderful take on the prompt. Best of luck in the contest...


  • mysticstorm gold member
    December 4, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Damn! Now this is what I am talking about...you did it with power and strenght like none other...and I as well as you know why...we live it understanded it and often wish it as different, yet when we think it is we get a rude kick in the ass to remove the star dust and awake us to the harsh reality.
    Your grace shines through once more...Excellent words of truth.
    Love


    • Tam
      December 4, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      I know you get it Sis...

      yep...you have to live it to grasp this one...
      I hate it when I start crying BEFORE I make it through that gate too...
      I don't know why...but once I'm home behind my own door it's OK to break but not in public...
      I AM A LOSER...LOL
      and I do drink absolut on the rocks with a splash of pomegranate juice...
      takes the edge right off...
      Love,
      sis


      btw...I still find you incredibly handsome my dear...LOL


  • Je Suis Prete
    December 4, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    So glad I happened upon this bit of poetry here. It seems to me to be a rather depressing write. Like a woman past her prime staying at the bar too late at night with fading red lipstick. Not sure if you get what I mean but I do like this write.
    Sara

1 - 14 of 14