Nails against the window pane
Tracing rivulets of rain
Tears of satin, life insane
Impending silence, descending pain
Desert storms cause mass destruction
Fading memories, mild concussion
Shards of the past inflict seduction
Wildly twirling, soul’s deduction
Blurring eyes, cold and gray
Whisking stagnant dreams away
Eternal ages shine their rays
Ticking times of yesterday
Condescending mirror glass
Playing images of the past
Into the unknown, wild and vast
The winds of friendship never last…
~Rain
10/14/07
11:43 pm
Author notes
Option six, please.
CrimsonRain1313 (1)
A contest entry
- Hello By Evanescence by XXCrimsonRaineXX.
1050 points, ended March 6, 2008, 18 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Contest for poets up to five medals ( no medal included) by Manoj Sanyal.
370 points, ended March 15, 2008, 7 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 21 of 21
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Wow, absolutely flawless rhyme in this piece!
Great imagery and flow throughout. The emotions here are marvelous. Fantastic job!
Bravo
♥ Kate -
ooh i forgot to click th elittle clappy things and it wont let me in edit so i will try again
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strong imigary in this sad and dark write i see that you have already won trophies with this exelent peice,a very well deserved winner
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Intense and powerful write. Poignant imagery and truths. Very well done.
Let the ink flow!
Blessings, sandi
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wow wow it knocked my socks off hehehe powerful piece you have made here it rocks
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You really show detail and make everything so clear about your pain!
Totally morbid and I think it rocks, especially the first stanza! -
4
NUMBER IS FOR ME, NOT A PLACEMENT. -
Liked the end rhyme in each verse being all the same, worked well here. FItting title - congratulations for winning bronze in the contest.
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An exemplar of finely crafted poetry that we might all aspire to produce. The images are taut and fresh, the rhyme scheme excellent, the whole a marvellous piece. Thank you for sharing.
Donald
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well expressed.
Best wishes and good luck
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I liked this. I especially liked the rhyme scheme in this piece.
Thank you for entering my contest. I wish you the best of luck.
ale xox -
this was a very good write. i especially loved the first stanza.
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I notice you write much like Amy Lee.
consistent rhythm here excentuates your mood. very tricky to do, yet you were able to do it. congrats =] -
Blurring eyes, cold and gray
Whisking stagnant dreams away
Eternal ages shine their rays
Ticking times of yesterday
I love these lines. Everything in this flowed nicely.
Amazing write. <3
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Wonderful
Very beautiful, you make everything kind of flow together. The rhyming is very nice. It was wonderful, I enjoyed reading it. Thanks so much for sharing.
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Nice job
this is a great write. I love the use of rymes. Not some more of those, hurry, hurries, the nice sweet sounding kind that foll of you tounge, not jagged-like, but smooth. Again, beautiful write.
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WOW!!!
What an incredible write! You wove your magic and the spell was cast. I loved every line of this! Magnificent piece!!! Blessings, Doris
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Oh! I really like how you worked the rhyming. I don't think I could ever do that. This piece is very... thoughtprovoking, because somehow gave me new ideas. Very good imagery also. Good job!
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really good
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Wow This is great. I love it. You have such a way with words angel cake!
Desert storms cause mass destruction
Fading memories, mild concussion
Shards of the past inflict seduction
Wildly twirling, soul’s deduction- i just love that stanza! Great job with the flow!!!!
I havn't talked to you in awhile. HOw have you been?
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oOo i like it! ( =
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