pondered thoughts
conflict deep within
years of discomfort
in others shoes,
some of hope
others of pain
splinters picked up
in each pair
left unattended
infecting breath of soul
hoping to kill cancer
let go, set herself free
run bare-feet in
love's meadows to her own pair
finding comfort at last
for a heart to flow
Author notes
thank you for the invite...
love
A contest entry
- Invite Only 6 by Laura Lamarca.
700 points, ended December 14, 2007, 7 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Tired of HM's (VIII) by PatheticKt.
300 points, ended August 20, 2008, 5 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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Ok, wow, a short write and yet you gave the title such justice!
I like the lines penned here where the persona can actually provoke thoughts to the reader and all
Only thing to critique here would be the apostrophe needed in the title and in the 4th line ^^'
Then again, maybe lowercase letters were intended so I'll let that slide; lovely write, all in all ~ -
Wow, what a piece
This made me stop and think; a sign of wonderful poetry
Wishing you the best in the contest!!! -
Comment by Judge
This sounds like this was written about a caring person. Maybe a person who put themselves in second place for someone who needed to be taken care of. Please put a space between in and love in the “run bare-feet inlove's meadows to her own pair” line. Thank you for entering the contest.
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wow! I like this. It's sad, but still just really real. I can't imagine how it must feel being in "those shoes", but you definitely put it into perspective. Good job!
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Time spent trying to be someone else for everyone else takes a harried toll. Bringing the soul downa nd not letting it find peace, but to be able to throw off that cloak and step back into your own shoes to find once again love of self and others makes the difference. Wonderfully written, best to you in the contest.
Love,
Mouser
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