Tormenting every thought and emotion,
Having the pain of rage inside.
Every breath that is consumed brings suffering,
Ravaging the very soul of a person until nothing is left.
Anger is only the start before it becomes an obsession,
Getting past the urges is nearly impossible.
Enticing and dangerous,
It will consume you and take all your joy away.
Not knowing why you are enraged,
Sanity fades away in time and all you know is the rage.
Interfering with your relationships causing self-seclusion,
Dying each day inside and then you loose control.
Everything disappears and you become a bomb that explodes.
Author notes
option three, Nephalaneous lover...
i'd tell you "i love you" to follow the 7th rule but then i'd be breaking the 6th rule...cant say i didnt say it though ...
A contest entry
- A Few Options by MourningSun.
450 points, ended December 21, 2007, 11 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
-
I felt the last line was a bit weak, underwhelming, but the rest of the poem was great. There is a power in your expression of anger that is undeniable, and though I still think it ends falling short, the journey to the end was a fantastic read. Very nice write. ^^
-
Honestly...
I think you should have won GOLD
loved the imagery of darkness in this.
Great one to share.
e
-
Very forthright and laid out in ever increasingly powerful lines. Well done, poet. Congratulations on your award.
-
Oooh i really liked this.. It was really interesting and sucked me write in from the first lime. Don't fret too much about small typo's, God knows everyone here gets consumed by their writing and arn't always perfect
Congrats on HM, Fantastic poem -
Great write congratulation on HM
-
-
oh, thank you for reading...thanks
i wrote that in btwn commercials, but most of whats written is true about rage, it truely does consumelol
-
-
I liked this. It's very honest and true.
-
-
thank you for reading my piece, i am pleased you liked itbest wishes
-
-
Oh that's great. Too bad I hadn't read this sooner, I would have suggested to add it to my friends contest about the Seven Deadly Sins! Anyway, great flow and rhyme. I think this poem is a little more...um dark than the background portrays tho.
-
Very descriptive. I love it, you did a great job on this one.
-
woah.. scary.
Nicely written
-
-
your so silly, its true about rage it consumes a person, then they eventually loose control
-
-
I like the poem. I really do but I have a few suggestions on it.
In the sixth (i think) line, it says, "getting pass the urges is nearly impossible" I was wondering if you meant that to be 'past the urges' And on the the first before last line, you spelled dying, "dieing"
Just thought I would poin those out but it is a very good poem. Thanks for entering and good luck.
-
-
i did mean"past"and"dying" i was a little distracted when writing, i was writing it on commercials...thank you for pionting this out to me...you wrote point as poin, lol, im glad you liked my poem
-
-
I do things like that all the time. I even spell my own name wrong half the time.
-
-
Adding your comment:
1 - 15 of 15
