I've walked a thousand suns
from where i've observed each night and day
with each minute
my life succeeds with every step
Every time i look back at my house
i get further away from home
I rely on being an animal
to protect myself from society
The life i see ahead
and my sister who never made it past her room
i tend to succeed more in my mind
then most others of my kind.
I love to give
and yet the community continues to betray me
Not so much the people
as the universal use of money
The more we spend and earn
the faster we move towards failure
I can already hear
the competition is as loud as an atom bomb
An explosion of limitations
most are invisible to the very few who succeed.
and all of our army
couldn't count those who never got to live their lives.
We think we've come so far
but are trapped in a never-ending spiral
Every government may be different
but our fights are all the same
The mirror images
of those who think they learn from history
this is a unifying world
where we refuse to part from our mistakes
and so our lives are doomed by
the compulsive tyrant of fear
This is the political cloud
we need to overcome within our minds
For it is invisible
this reality is created by ourselves
its hard to believe
that man would intentionally destroy themselves
Now we are caught in irony
because we did it in spite of success
Don't be alarmed
for there is a remedy for everything we create
don't focus on acting against the problem
otherwise you'll miss the root causes
Now and then
the universe will meet its maker
It's not a God
but the mind of man itself
There is even proof
the philosophical books thinking upon on our shelves
those of which were past attempts
by those who ceased to succeed
and the maker
will let their dreams combine
They'll be the ones
who didn't let their dreams slip by.
A contest entry
- Have A Rewards Poem? Enter It Here!!!!! Almost Any Subject!!! by opaqueangel.
1225 points, ended December 4, 2007, 21 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
-
Brilliant write!
Although I don't agree with your conclusion I think there is much insight here. We live in a world of turmoil and greed, which you reflect well in your writing. The poem itself is well written and flows beautifully, it makes the reader uncomfortable, challenged even?
"Meaningless, meaningless says the teacher, utterly meaningless, everything is meaningless"...
. Rewarded 6
-
incredible
wow...so much enlighten thoughts...so much truth...so much educated bends of life and destruction. this piece is truly incredible! i was moved by the words and the flow. the intellect that was divided across the page gave me a rush. it may seem a bit unfair to ask, but...if your the age that is written on your page, i'm even more impressed! it's just hard to believe now days that the youth that surrounds our precious planet seem to forget..."we" are here in the same fight as "they" are in. society's ills affect/effect/ and infect everyone! great piece!
. Rewarded 8
-
Absolutely fantastic! A voyage of insight upon the eternally-spinning tornado of perdition that is our society. I loved the description of all we know and see, or than again, see, but don't understand, or don't keep in mind, through the eyes of a stranger, of a being circling on some superior level, being trapped and wrenched back into reality, being perfectly capable of understanding, but incapable of altering. The mention of money alone was enough to make me respect your poem, for I truly believe in the unlimited ability to corrupt that this international entity possesses. And yet, money could serve its intended purpose and stop acting as an ally of evil. If we fought for this, and if we didn't encourage and revel at the feel of its murky kisses. I loved the parallel between all the so-called "issues" that ruin today, and the effects our own minds will have on tomorrow. But the best thing by far was the melancholical view upon yesterday, which you beautifully brought into view with the use of the philosophical books symbol. In my opinion, the only true values are those of the past, and a return to them, or at least a better knowing and a greater respect for them will be our only and final salvation. Superb from the beginning to the end. It's annoying that you have only one comment when your poem is a definite social frescoe. This proves once again the unfairty of comments on this site. But alas, although you have posted this as a reward poem, I state that reading it and commenting it is a better rewards than stupid, useless points. Write forever, write true!
. Rewarded 8
-
Wow this is amazing! I really like the message you are putting forth here and I must say that I totally agree with you. Were are in a constant struggle to destroy ourselves it seems and we really need to take a step back and look at the fact that we are all human, we are all made of flesh and blood and that none of the differencs matter, we need to ban together if we ever hope of serviving! Excelent write and thanks so much for the entery! Good luck in the contest!
Adding your comment:
