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Tell Me

What do you see
when you look in my eyes
I can see it on your face
that they've got you mesmerized

When i start to get angry
does the brown turn to fire
And though you're being worried
do my eyes still fill you with desire

Tell me my darling
do my eyes make you wonder
About what's inside the mind
of this swirl of chocolate/vanilla thunder

Tell me what they show
when in those moments of romance
Tell me do they entice you
and send us both into a trance

What do you see when
you look in these circles of brown
What about them is able
to wipe away your frown

So please dont restrain
What is it you see
You can't resist these eyes
So surrender to their pull and
Tell me...

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 14 of 14
  • Poetryintheblood gold member
    August 4, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you for your lovely submittal, good luck in my contest, Josie


  • xxlisajazminexx
    December 14, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    this has one hell of a great flow!

    very realistic and down to earth....
    written with great rhyme too!
    A+


  • magdelene
    December 11, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    this poem is definitely very descriptive and has a very good rhythm, that's for sure. thanks for entering! good luck!


  • Lady Purple
    December 4, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    no comment.........but it is good

  • ANWsquirt1
    December 4, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    This is a really good poem. And the ending is really good. It's realistic too. I like it.


  • q-pid
    December 4, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Damn baby... this is really good... doesn't seem like you have writer's block to me... both of these poems are some of your best...

    I love it!!!!!!


  • SOLS.Moonlight
    December 3, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    I like the flow....Have I read this before? It's hella good.


    • Expression
      December 4, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      thanks...and no u havent read this this...new thing i just wrote 2day


  • Number 13
    December 3, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Aweeeeee this is beautiful Kaila!


  • Onfire4Jesus
    December 3, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Wow. This was truly beautiful. Got you all mesmerized. What is it that wipes away your frown. All those words you just threw into this poem are unbeliebably amazing!! I am impressed for someone who claims to have writers block, but yet you are busting out with these amazing poems. Man I envy you :D lol j/k Anyways, keep them coming now that you are out of your block, you can continue to impress me and blow my mind :D Thanks for sharing this with me my friend. You truly have some amazing talent here :) I love it!!

    God Bless You!!

    Charles :) 


  • Kooler-Den-Ice
    December 3, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    im feelin it

    i like how u ended it. dats creative az hell

    • Expression
      December 3, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      thank yas...still tryna break my writer's block..I think im gettin there lol


  • blakdiamone
    December 3, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Oh that was hot for someone with WRITER'S BLOCK!!! Lol. Anyways, I think the word is TRANCE not TRACE. lol, but anyways, I like it though. I like how you said circles of brown instead of... pupils. And the third stanza about chocolate and vanilla thunder got me hungry, and plus that was hot too. Great job


    • Expression
      December 3, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      ooh shoot i didnt even notice that error...i'll go back and change it

      thankiez!!!

1 - 14 of 14