his shirt falls to the floor
and his guns ball up, taut-
veins popping. nose all squinched
and his eyes slit.
venom in his voice.
Author notes
25 words is HARRRRRD. can't do the moment's intensity justice. but my brother freaked hard over thanksgiving and tried to incite physical violence.
A contest entry
- a moment by Suzanne Dia.
450 points, ended December 4, 2007, 13 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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I'd say you created a pretty clear picture--considering you did it with 25 words.
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:-)
Hi Steph!
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I have seen this physical being before. Too bad their isn't a bit more control on their part. Very good imagery. You penned a moment that we all cringe about, especially at family gatherings. Excellent take on the prompt beautiful! I wish you well in the Comp!
Much Love & Happy Holidays ♥
Renee
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Hope your brother is feeling better and that everyone is alright.
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No, I think you got the intensity here.
I like the moment specific entries in this so far.
I could actually see him winding up..
glad you entered.
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