Prelude:
Art is reinvented inspiration,
melodies and colours,
whirling and dancing ecstasy.
Words playing.
Tumbling
and
blending
and
tumbling.
Playing words.
Ecstasy, dancing and whirling
colours and melodies.
Inspiration reinvented is art.
Interlude:
Love blooms there
blue of silence -
a moon fills itself
with white constellation;
for Jupiter sighs
inside pale breaths.
yellow -
as slow as water,
and
water as slow as yellow
breaths. pale inside;
sighs Jupiter...
for constellation, white with itself
fills moon -
a silence of blue
There blooms love.
Epilogue:
Once shared,
love knew greatness;
shed fears of mortality and
brought hope filled souls -
overjoyed -
souls filled hope brought;
and mortality of fears shed.
Greatness knew love,
shared once.
Author notes
This is the Green Room's Entry for the poetic challenge. Three of the palindromes written before were combined creatively by "Oracle of Darkness". The first palindrome is me, the second by Karamel Kandy and the third by "The Chase".
The link to the challenge is:
http://allpoetry.com/column/2339229
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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If creativity is the mark of good poetry then I say this is excellent work. I wouldn't have known it was a collaboration without reading the author's notes but I would have sworn Myra had something to do with this piece..lol. I must come back and read your work more often. Best of luck in the challenge.
Sincerely,
Leo Long
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But Leo, you always read my work ... *smiles*. I think you would like Karamel Kandy then - she is the second poet in this collaboration. A new poet for you to explore. I am glad you loved it. We did not win the challenge, bur we did well enough. Most of us are still in it.
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This strikes me as one of the harder forms of poetry to write, and especially as a team. I think your difficulty in working together closely may have impacted the feel of this being 3 separate poems thrown together, rather than one poem seamlessley created, and yet I liked the final effect with the 3 parts. As has been mentioned, the flow is very choppy in places, but you've still done a nice job with the complexities of such a form. I appreciate the effort you put forth during such a busy time of year and hope you all enjoyed the experience of working together.
Good luck and best wishes,
~J.
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Trista
Thank you for your comment. I love it when you comment. It was interesting to work together and the form was a huge challenge, but this is what challenges are for. Happy holidays to you and yours and thanks for your valuable input.
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Nice job ~
I am not sure where Oracles entry is.....except to say, that maybe they were left with the job of constructing the Final Palindrome?
I need to know ~
This part here.>>>
for constellation, white with itself
fills moon -....and this here.>>>
souls filled hope brought;
.....they were out of balance for sure ~
I am a Formed Poetry NUTT.....and the Palindrome is my favorite Form of all Forms....as I offered you all suggestions in the beginning ~
Personally, I think this could have Rocked this Round if there had been more Teamwork ~
I know, I know.....the Holidays and such were a chore as well.....but this is only an hour a day at the most to work on ~
It has been almost 3 weeks ~
However...the first Palindrome was by far the most Inventive and well structured......but as a Team....>>>>
.............Disappointed ~
Bear ~
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Thanks Bear for the critical comment. Yes you are right - some bits were choppy and did not work all that well. I am going to take this piece further (even though it is too late for the challenge) and with the permission of all the other poets. It could shine and in the end it will ...
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I agree with Melanie that this did turn out great and it really did make a wonderful write in the end. Some parts were choppy but other than that, you guys did nicely on this. You worked together well.
Forever and always,
Kristen ♥ -
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Thank you Kris. Good to meet you!! I am glad you liked it.
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THis actually turned out great! I can see, and this means it is obvious that it was thrown together rather quickly. So, did all people help? I was a bit confused about that!
Some parts seem to "unravel" and fall apart. A form is to be tight, neat and predictable. Though I feel it could have been pulled together a little better, you still left me with an empression. This group holds some of the strongest competitors in the challenge, I was expecting more teamwork. That is the lesson to be learned with this round. As writers... we sometimes will have to work with others that have different styles and techniques... not saying one ois better than the other, just different. But we have to use our differences to make it stand out. You did good... but those that did not help out should not have got credit. Seeing as all have been added as collaborators, all poets will be partaking in judging!
MEl
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Ah Mel, and so we did ... the judging was tough, but had to be done. Thanks also for the positive feedback. We realise that it seems thrown together, but it did work out ... it was a privilege to see all the other poets' process and how they get to their end result. It was the most difficult round because it is so difficult for me to collaborate with others. I am sure all my fellow poets would agree ...
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Ah, I realize we didn't quite get to talk with each other as much as I (and you, probably,) would have liked, but this round caught me at a strange time. My fiance and our roommate just got back from sea so we've all been rather busy, and then we had to travel for Thanksgiving. I know it sounds like I'm making excuses but I'm not, just letting you know. And thank you, I think it turned out pretty nice in the end
chase
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Thank you Chase and hey, I know that sometimes life gets in the way. Your roommate and fiancee just got back from sea ... well I would not be online at all then!!! You did what you could and you did well!!! We had this to enter, didn't we?
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Haha, thank you hun
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oooooo pretty! LOL... I loved this especially the lines yellow as slow as water... water as slow as yellow... competition is crankig up! Peace and good luck to all
Desi
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Thanks shoozy!!! Glad you loved it. Congrats on the worthy win by your team.
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Oh wow, I like the way it all turned out
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DAMN GIRL, you ARE good aren't ya???
I agree with Peteskid in this one - these things usually just ramble, but this actually made sense
I also agree with Binary Frog - the first one's flow definitely added to the whole palindrome effect
EXCELLENT job here my friend - very well done!
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Well thankees hunny!!! I saw snow on Sunday - I saw it fall ... lots of it tooooo. It was wonderful it is just cold. Glad you liked this. This comment means a lot to me!!! Hugs and kisses in abundance.
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My hats off to anyone who can make a palindrome make sense and -here there are three- ...excellent work all...PK
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Thanks PK - all the poets appreciate your comment. It was a tough challenge and we are all glad you loved it so much.
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Oh this was absolutly beautiful.
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Thanks Raven. Your comments, as always mean so much to me!!! Thank you for being such an avid reader - some time this week I will visit again myself.
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Wow, this is really good, I've always liked palindromes but never thought of using them in poetry, but I really enjoyed it, particularly in the first verse, which has a beautiful shape, which I think emphasises they fact that you are using palindromes, but is quite subtle.
This is a really clever piece, wonderfully structured, and with a beautiful meaning. -
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Thanks Frog. Glad you liked the palindrome.
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