Saturated insanity, laced with toxic whispers seem to breed in me, calamity.
Enveloped by the dismal tunnels of my mind, my sanctuary lies in ruins.
I've no home for salvation, no place to rest my head.
My courage has betrayed me and left me marked for death.
I scream, to no avail, of my bewildering abandon.
But it seems my pleas are fruitless; crudely barren.
Foolishly I run in utter oblivion, flying toward a vacant interception.
With each step I take it seems the ground mocks me; reveling in my deficiency.
Tears of defeat roll down my cheeks, bitter with my disgrace.
Forced to succumb, my soul grows numb; desecration seals my fate.
A contest entry
- ~10 Trophies Or Less~ by Lyre-Bird-.
550 points, ended December 10, 2007, 7 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Show me darkest part of your soul (My favourites only) by shadow-of-the-sun.
570 points, ended February 21, 2008, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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Wowzers and wow! I really like this, love the word play and imagery created. A superb piece, full of emotion. Best of luck in the contest with it
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this one was interesting, i liked it. i could tell that there was some sort of structure there more than just rhyming, but i dont really know much about that sort of stuff. but any great write. but could you also put a comment in the comments section on the contest claiming your poem? thanks
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WOW......
this write is truly powerful, and i love the word usage you used. You're diction is wonderful!
^_^
I especially loved these lines:
"Foolishly I run in utter oblivion, flying toward a vacant interception.
With each step I take it seems the ground mocks me; reveling in my deficiency."
They really struck a chord with me and stuck out.....
kudos on this deep write
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That reads 100% better.....
Tracey -
Firstly I want to thank you for entering the contest....
You have written 10 lines of pure darkness....
Your opening stanza is brillant... some excellent word combinations you have choosen....
'I run, faster than sound' I find this line to be a little cliche....
The ending is great, wrapping this piece up into a beautiful dark piece.....
well written
best of luck in the contest...
Tracey
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