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only patches are ever seen

 
 
 
 
 
We are all twisted squares
of moonlight,
 
our Möbius mosaics
filtered by leaf and bramble,
fragments that trees failed
to catch before morning.

 

Our origin stumbles

through nights

sketched
by loosely lit dreams.
 
 
 
Patches stream shadow
over dead words or-
 
where less scattered,
etch tracks
for ghost trains

bound to crazy paths,


such as love and hope.
 
 
 
In either case,

too vague a destination

for easy rest.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Author notes

Prompt: "Somewhere down the Crazy River" - Robbie Robertson and the Bodeans

In a list

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think (Critical Honesty Appreciated)

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression? • Line numbers
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?) (Line numbers)

Comments

1 - 7 of 7

  • NurseChilly gold member
    December 15, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    the neverending mobius strips of wonderment and easy plays... the journey just goes on and on... and on

    yes

    bloody loved this one Sis...

    yepp


  • Naridill gold member
    December 11, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    .... excuse me while I eat this up...


  • Cherokee
    December 9, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    "Too vague a destination for easy rest"... doesn't that just say it all really? The turmoil within each of us that makes us all just a little bit crazy. Well done.


  • Cat gold member
    December 3, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    i love that opening line.. a great hook

    followed by a perfect close

    nicely done-

    m


  • misselaineous gold member
    December 3, 2007
    Edit | Reply


  • Rowan gold member
    December 3, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I love the image of ghost train~ yes, love is elusive, but always omni-present too, isn't it? I loved this.
    As usual.


  • Suzanne Dia gold member
    December 3, 2007

    Edit | Reply


    ah, but you captured the elusive quality of love and life didn't you?

    it's like that, too, never so specific, and when it is well...you've been hit by the stupid train at that point, all over with

    I like this kate, really a nice entry into the contest.

1 - 7 of 7