You keep me hanging on each word from your lips,
sweet light in the darkness of my soul -
a forbidden sweetness I cannot ever have.
She holds your heart in a mocking way and your spirit is her toy,
yet you love her fervently, passionately, enviously -
a love far beyond my own worth.
I love that which I cannot hold,
I cherish each breath you take,
and you shall never be mine, my never-valentine.
A contest entry
- Love Triangles! by Bitter Irony.
450 points, ended December 24, 2007, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - loving someone who dont love you by trace3grls.
300 points, ended December 29, 2007, 9 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Critique?
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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Wow! What an amazing write!!! I love the imagery in your words. "She holds you in a mocking way and your spirit is her toy, yet you love her fervently, passionately, enviously, a love far beyond my own worth". POWERFUL, COMPELLING I loved it!
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great write well done
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I love the emotional "imagery" in this poem. There's one line I'm a bit confused about--"a love far beyond my own worth." Is that the love the other woman has for him, or that he has for the other woman, or...?
I also love your last line and title.
Nice work! Thanks for entering the contest, and good luck! -
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It refers to the love he has for anyone. The line says "far beyond my own worth" because the speaker feels that she isn't good enough for him and isn't worthy of any kind of love he could possibly have for her.
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Wow! This is such a deep and powerful poem. I loved it. You did a fantastic job with this here and best wishes to you in the contest.
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