Fingers stretched seeking to hide within a lover’s palm.
My body lying on the cold marble floor like it’s already dead.
The illness like a demon spitting blood out of my lips.
There is no voice to scream, to call, to plead for him.
In another’s arms he sleeps digging my grave.
Another body feels his warmth, swallows his passion
as I stir and turn like a wounded animal
preparing to enter my death chamber, to sleep forever under a cross.
His love fleeted before my eyes, fleeted beyond my grasp.
It trespassed all my defenses and left me weak,
Dying alone with only company my royal blood
Is it the illness killing me or is it his absence?
I have withered, hidden in these grey walls
Waiting for his return stanched with another’s aroma
Finding peace only in watching him sleep
Craddling him when he is not conscious to deny it.
Many times I have let him untie my corset.
How many times I let him penetrate my depths!
And in this dying hour it is only his memory that escorts me
For the rest of him is missing in cheating desire.
The marble is stained with blood, or with betrayal?
The death I awaited is coming to snatch my soul
If there was a soul I would deliver it with piousness
But it has shrank and died, only the memory remains.
Author notes
Inspired by the tv couple Charles Brandon and Margaret Tudor of "The Tudors".This is Margaret's point of view as she lies dying of turbeculosis while her lover, Charles, is cheating on her with another.Second in a 2-poem series.Check my other poem,the first one, "Denying the ripples of the heart" for the point of view of Charles.
A contest entry
- Give me depressing poetry you have. by karebear.
386 points, ended December 3, 2007, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Blood Stained Teardrops by Blooming Poet.
450 points, ended January 3, 2008, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Dark (again) loss by Selene Tremere.
400 points, ended March 31, 2008, 19 entries
Honorable winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Unrequited by Chelsea Void.
525 points, ended May 31, 2008, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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It's very interesting to see this poem in context, what inspired you. I think you used great vocabulary, I would just say use the proper capitalization and there are a few errors within the poem, but the rest is great
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Thank you very much!
Could you take the time and point me to the errors?
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WOW! that's relly amazing! i loved it! it's really profound and the way you show the emotions in it is wonderful! great job!
thank you for entering and best of luck ^^! -
As always, the poem draws you in immediately. You have the gift of catching others attention.
"My body lying on the cold marble floor like it’s already dead." - this sends shivers down my spine. A cold marble floor... I suddenly feel cold. Well done with this line! "There is no voice to scream, to call, to plead for him." - this is very good as well. It's like she is deaf or something, like cannot talk anymore.
Although here I think "swallows his passion" - "swallowing" would sound better. But of course you decide.
"Dying alone with only company my royal blood" - this might need a comma or something inbetween the company and my.
*points out* a spelling mistake there--> "Cradldling".
"Many times I have let him untie my corset." - ooh this makes me excited! lol
I like this poem but I think I like the other one better, told from Charles' point of view. Margaret's sounds more depressive but his sounds more passionate and lustful!
Good job sis!!
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it has got me from the start it was really goo
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clap clap clap
Nicely done. Loved this piece, its drenched in emotoin. The first two stanzas really pulled me in. the black on this background was really hard to read i had to highlight it just FYI.
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Aww thank you so much for your comment!I just posted this so i am heartily excited to receive the first comment. It's been a while since i've had inspiration to write poems and these last days i've been really satisfied by my inspiration coming back. You are right about the black,i'm going to change it. I dearly thank you again!
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