gone
you're far away
my prescence lingers with the very thought of you
how hurt
I want you back
I miss you... I do... I miss you... I do... I LOVE YOU I AM SORRY
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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You for sure captured what you're trying to get across but it really sounds like you're just talking to someone. To make it sound more like a poem try using stronger words and metaphors.
Sorry, I'm also crazy about proper writting, shoudn't it be "You're far away" instead of "your far away"
Hope I could help, keep it up. -
I really feel for you in the emotion here Missy. Whomever it is you are missing I hope a happy ending comes your way. And speaking of missing, I do miss you my friend. Don't be a stranger and drop me a line sometime and let me know how you are ok?


