Saving appearences, saving my breath.
Afraid, afraid
of that one last touch.
For me it is like death.
It is too much to take.
There's just too much to break.
Scared that it would fade.
I am standing by your side.
Desperately, I try to record you,
I try to hide
that I am actually crying inside.
But I still looked back
when I felt your lack.
Slaughter me with your blade!
Slaughter me with your blade!
Author notes
I wrote this after my fiance had gone back to England. This poem tells what I felt at the airport when we were saying goodbye so it is a really emotional poem of mine. I wrote it when I was hurt. So please don't be bitchy about the way I wrote this because at that moment I couldn't care less what anyone would think of this.
A contest entry
- I feel you will never return to me by googe.
600 points, ended January 8, 2008, 15 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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So here I see your fiance went back to England to live there. So I assume the both of you probably aren't a couple anymore?
Not sure about the repetition at the end, but overall a good poem
Leander -
Thank you for entering my contest! This poem is very raw with emotion.. i think thats amazing when you have a poem that ust flows out of you. Its such good therapy to be able to express yourself.. in these trying situations. I really like this poem and i felt like i was the one standing at the airport. Im very sorry you had to go through this but thanks for sharing. Good Luck!
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aww I'm sorry. =[
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I like this. It has lots of emotion flowing through it.Please iinclude your option in the notes.
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Thank you! Oh, I'm sorry, I must've forgot. I edited it now!
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i disagree with other comment. i liked the way you typed this! i enjoyed reading it. great poem. i wish you good luck in my twin's contest!
~Dommi -
I think this used a bit too much repetition, I know that was the idea but it just didn't really flow that well. I like the last line and the metaphor for how it feels. Thanks for your entry and good luck =
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Oh oh I see... was this a temporary depature or hmm? Anyway, lots of emotion and obviously personal pain in this one. Thanks for entering this into my contest.
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Yeah, a temporary one.. although I saw him again after a year. So I had to wait a loooong time.
That's why this departure was so painful.
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