Margaret:"Do you tease me because it amuses you?"
Charles:"Why else?"
Margaret:"Because you love me!"
What should I call this royal siren clenching my heart?
The veil that has been shed upon my desire.
Reaching for something that I cannot touch
Walking on forbidden grounds painted ginger like her hair.
Denying…Denying what is meant to be called love.
What should I call this temptation conquering my every sense?
Drawn to the silk of her skin, I’m stalking her through shadows.
Been walking this path for years without getting caught in the trap
What has befallen me on this sinister eve, what rules I’m crossing?
Denying….Denying what stirs in the cold dungeons of my heart.
What should I call her apart from English rose, bonny and thorned.
For I am driven mad by illusions of wilderness and naked bodies
She is standing on the corridor waving for me to approach
And I turn into a wraith, chasing her until I am deep within her.
Denying… Denying that I am more human than I ever thought.
What should I call this hand , gentle yet violent rippling my insides
Once creating thunderous storms , then clinging to blinding sunshine
And in my mind we are rolling down the green hills
My body forceful over her frail entity, muting her with kisses.
Denying…. Denying that I am surrendering to a woman’s charm.
What should I call this surrender shameful even in times of war?
The strength I thought I was possessing is no longer mine but hers.
She moves, no she glides, in angel made gowns and I am Hell incarnate
Yearning to possess her, to ensure that she will be noone else’s, only mine.
Denying…Denying that I was captured with chains unseen.
Alas, can I deny it?
Author notes
Inspired by the tv couple Charles Brandon and Margaret Tudor of "The Tudors" and written under the sound of Loreena McKennitt's "The English Ladye and the Knight" who inspires me a lot. This is Charles's point of view in the beginning of their relationship. Also check my other poem "As i lie here dying" which is Margaret's point of view.
(May 31st)
A contest entry
- LOVE: Made for Each Other by Shenanigans.
1000 points, ended December 15, 2007, 22 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The Form of Love by Perfectly Imperfect.
450 points, ended January 4, 2008, 32 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Types Of Love(NEED TYPE 1 BEFORE JUDGING) by Blooming Poet.
300 points, ended March 31, 2008, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Love... Envy... Fabulous by Pretty Britty.
750 points, ended April 4, 2008, 47 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Make eyes sparkle with your words by ladame.
450 points, ended June 1, 2008, 21 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - PROMPT: Thirteen Tales of Love & Revenge !!!! by sailor ptolema.
426 points, ended June 4, 2008, 7 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Sensually Erotic - Now open for Prewrites by sensualbutterfly.
450 points, ended September 27, 2008, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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Wonderfully written piece! Very different than what is normally entered! Quite nice for a change! Thanks for the entry
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bravo
I love period pieces, any period
wrote one myself, about the wild west era..ish
anyway, this is the Tudors is a very good drama!!
well done, you portray is yearning love well
hauntingly deep and sensually portrayed
well done! -
Stunning. Different, and very interesting. Possibly my favourite subject-matter too...prized women, and the classical period of history.
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Why,thank you ladame!*smiles* I'm so pleased you liked it!It is probably my favourite subject as well,it inspires me a lot.
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A beautifully structured piece ... you've kept faith with your voice throughout and the whole piece is internally consistent - not easy with longer poems.
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Truly thank you meic for this short but original and true comment! It is difficult most times to "keep faith" like you said throughout the poem because the words come out only as long as i am under the inspiration,when this goes away i am struggling.
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I love the title. denial is hard to deal with, i know. Loved this part:
What should I call this surrender shameful even in times of war?
The strength I thought I was possessing is no longer mine but hers.
She moves, no she glides, in angel made gowns and I am Hell incarnate
Yearning to possess her, to ensure that she will be noone else’s, only mine.
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This is a very good poem... I love what it's based on and I love the way it's worded and the form and just... everything! Brilliance.
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I really like this Great inspiration behind it. Well done and thank you for entering x
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Wow, this is an amazing poem! It gives me this "English" feeling, you know what I mean. (Can't wait to watch the movie!).
Now.. my favourite lines were: "What should I call this royal siren clenching my heart?"; "What should I call her apart from English rose, bonny and thorned"; "And in my mind we are rolling down the green hills". These were such beautiful, and imaginary lines!
Now some criticism.. there are some minor mistakes. I think this line sounds a bit odd: "Walking on forbidden grounds painted ginger like her hair." It's the "ginger like her hair" part that sounds awkward. Maybe this instead would sound better: "Walking on forbidden ginger grounds, the colour of her hair" or something? I don't like this part very much either "what rules I’m crossing?", I think it would sound better with "am I" instead of "I'm". Oh and this line "rippling my insides" do you mean rippling as in ripple or rip? I got a bit confused here. This "What should I call this surrender shameful" I think would sound better instead like this "What should I call this shameful surrender".
And instead of "was possessing", "I possessed" would be better as well.
Hope this helped!
xxx
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Thank you sis!
I'm delighted that you liked it. This one and "As i lie here dying" are my latest so i am attached to them a lot. I'm glad for your praise and critique.
Thanks for being critical but i am not sure i can change much in this poem because its balance is frail,most words are connected and exist for a certain reason whether it serves the pace,the acoustic beauty or the theme. But then again,this is subjective of course. I can explain though why i wouldn't change certain things. 1. Rippling as in creating ripples. 2. was possessing or I possessed,i think of them are actually fine. But possessed sounds a little abrupt to be whereas "was possessing" seems to drag a bit,carrying the sound of the word. 3.In this line:"What should I call this surrender shameful even in times of war?" it can't go "shameful surrender" because the meaning of the word surrender goes with the phrase "even in times of war".I am meaning to say "What should i call this surrender which is shameful even during the times of war."5. I think that you are actually write about "I'm" and "I am",i'll ponder on that.
Keep up the good comments!
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I understand. It's fine.
I see you tried to write it in a sort of English way like one of the commenters below said!
"I am meaning to say "What should i call this surrender which is shameful even during the times of war.""
Aaah! Okay I see! hehe.
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wow, this was really good! I loved the imagery used to convey the repression--a lot like Heathcliffe but more subtle. Must be an English thing... Excellent work, I am impressed. Good luck in the contest!
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haha Yes it must be an English thing!Thank you for your comment, i'm really pleased you liked it
Aw Heathcliffe.I must be the only one around who hasn't read Wuthering Heights..But i am meaning to.
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Bravo
ahh, nicely done, so the story goes, he cheats on his "wife" with a women whom he has been in lust possibly love with for a very long time, finally giving into temptation with a beautiful regret. I love the way the two poems coinside (sp) with eachother. Nicely done, i felt like i was looking into his mind.
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Aw i'm very glad you like this as wellIn my poems i often like to delve into another character's mind and heart and pronounce his words.
Ah you are close to the story!I will write it here for other readers to be enlightened as well.Charles Brandon,Duke of Suffolk, was in King Henry's Court, a notorious lover and a mischievious heartbreaker. Princess Margaret was(in the series)the King's sister betrothed to the old King of Portugal.Very beautiful and passionate but with an attitude. Charles was appointed to travel with her to Portugal. During their trip they fell in passionate love. Margaret married the old king but desperate with her love for Charles he killed him in his sleep thus returning to England and marrying Brandon in a whim.Charles was not the type to fall in love so he was surprised when he was actually captivated by Margaret,this is what the poems talks about. Later on however they started fighting a lot as they were banished from Henry's court. As Margaret states in an episode Charles was able "to love for a day,a month or even a year but then he moved on, abandoning his old love." In the end Margaret got ill and died of turbeculosis.While she is dying we can see in the series Charles cheating on her with another woman. So the second poem speaks of the tragic end. However, as you said he does regret and apologises over her dead body.Goodness this is so long,can't help myself!lol
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