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That one kid

I am that one kid in detention
always in detention
that makes you laugh and have fun untill your parents come to get you

I am that one kid in class
the center of attention
not popular, but who cares? I don't.

I am that one kid SHE dosent notice
nope, has no clue I'm alive
and I'm afraid theres not much I can do

I am that one kid who can always make you smile
when its raining and you were gonna play softball
you decide to play with your sisters dolls, I won't tell, really I wont

I am that one kid whose entire room is blue
with posters of pokemon
and gameboys scattered in all colors and hues

I am that one kid
and thats all I'll ever be
to you.

Author notes

male character two, I loved it lol

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments


  • Master Anarchy
    December 4, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Ya Rekkun??!! Me snot-nosed, you booger clown!!??

    Do you use the 2-line summary, or simply allow the 1st two lines to default thereinto?

    eg. "The wan kid
    Wins in detention" might summarise this piece.

    the center of attention
    not popular, but who cares? I don't.

    - One might have had no "?", for added frisson of purpose. And I applaud the "the center of attention/not popular": not all are out-going, and not all become well-liked in said place. [Ambiguity speaks to many things, they say. Or so I'm told. ]

    "dosent" - deliberate spelling error? Tres moderne, if so. [doze also evoked...]

    I thought "grin" instead of "smile", only to find "laugh" (not "smile") had been used above, and that the softness of a smile suited the subject -form follows function, echoes thereof- best. J'applaud, therefore. "One learns to teach to learn to teach to learn ad nauseum tretch to reach beyond..." - Confucious Nott.

    Haven't checked the contest, but character writing (a la "Childe Harold") is a good line of development, especially toward longer, or linked vignette, pieces of poetry and conception toward prose (a long-winded mode of linguistic selves-expression at the worst of times), or so I find.

    Ciao.