merry christmas, baby.
you know why i keep coming back to you?
its not just the way you make me feel.
its the way you smell,
the way you taste at the back of my throat.
just breathe
you'll be my
bride in a green hemp wedding dress
trying not to get caught
trying not to be seen
lets do this, baby.
you still know how to make me feel good every time.
you'll be my
bride in a white smoke veil
with your hand in my pocket
and your perfume in my hair
you're better than a
christmas tree
better than colored lights
that spark of fire
better than sugar cookies
you'll be my
bride wrapped in white paper
dripping ash and trailing smoke
you'll keep me warm this evening,
alone in my closet
i know you're not good for me, baby.
but what am i supposed to do?
you smell so good,
my little fugitive,
my little whore,
my one true love.
i want you inside me.
you still make me feel good
every time.
A contest entry
- Act Apalled, And Listen To The Past by pillowjoe.
600 points, ended January 3, 2008, 12 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - What is the Joy of Christmas time? by Jasmine Minx.
750 points, ended January 9, 2008, 9 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - truth and dare (ie poetry is so much more than just poetic devices) by Dienush.
600 points, ended May 18, 2008, 30 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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imagine if you didn't know this was about weed. hmm.
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wow interesting.
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very well written
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very funny
that is really funny man -
I remember this poem. I read it awhile back. I enjoyed as much this time as last time. Good Luck
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yup, thanks
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Brilliant
What can I possibly say that hasn't already been said?
A fantastic write and very original...you should be proud. Good luck in the contest.
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this is great! original. ive not read all that many poems (ever) featuring personification, and this was a brilliant example. so real and a very clever idea.
this could actually make really great song lyrics - are you able to put it to a tune? i think itd work really well. fantastic work!
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I liked this piece... well written, and does convey your feelings. Nice metaphors etc, and I loved the ending.
"i know you're not good for me, baby.
but what am i supposed to do?
you smell so good,
my little fugitive,
my little whore,
my one true love."
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sweet
I been high the past 2 weeks on opium and bud this poem is exactly high I feel when smoke bud but opium is my true love haha hit me up on aim shinfo123
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I liked this, being a partaker from time to time I can relate. Well done. I liked the visual this left me with.
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I loved the imagery you used in this to describe pot as a bride, very nice -
'bride in a white smoke veil
with your hand in my pocket
and your perfume in my hair'
cleverly done -
I liked the attitude in here!pretty original and equally challanging!well done indeed1intriguing concept!
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Your personification worked well, your message got across and I really like this a lot. I have a similar poem "Panadol" if you wanna take a look
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