Out of my wirsts,
the blood falls to the ground,
all i see is darkness,
no love, no light, no sound,
I reached out for u,
but u were never there,
when i said "I love you",
did u ever care,
I've always felt like nothing,
and i think u've proved me right,
so i'll slit my wrists right here, right now,
and end it all tonight,
The blood falls out in crimson,
so red, so full, so bright,
i start to sink down to the floor,
as it all fades from sight,
My last thought is of you,
and i begin to cry,
perhaps if u had loved me,
tonight, i wouldn't have to die.
A contest entry
- what exactly have you won? by black lagoon x.
420 points, ended December 22, 2007, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 25 of 25
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oh. would you mind terribly if i quoted this on my page? it's so beautiful.
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I am slowly working my way through your poems I haven't commented yet. So I have now made it to this one. Anyway, great write. I really liked the way it was worded. "So red, so full, so bright." That really caught my attention. And the end. Perhaps I should direct my friend Matt to read some of your poems. (He tries to write... But he just can't make it flow.) Lol anywayz... All my ranting aside. Great poem! I loved it. (duh!)
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amazing job
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OMFG it's awesome
it's so amazing .how you wrote it and everything...and ii can relate to it soooooooo much {but im not dead...yet} keep up the good writting!!
-XoX-Alth3a...ps{this is my fav poem that i've read so far!!!}
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i love this peom i have one kinda like it you should read it its called Last words and i see were your coming from i feel the same way its liek my parents dont even care if im alive or not i wish i wasnt!
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yea
yea i've been there
not a fun place
its even worse when you try to stop crying
i get scared when i cant feel the open wounds ne more
cuz then i have to cut deeper
you know
ne way great poem
reminds me of... well you know
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good
i liked it alot good job
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AWESOMLY DEPRESSING
I thought it was great I know that feeling its not the greatest one to have, and its the hardest one to get rid of. -
I really like this a lot I can relate to it so much and I know that the pain is just to much to bear sometimes.
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....................................WOW!
It is fantastic! I dont evan know how to describe my feeings towards this poem. -
i feel like nothing everyday.
that is the same way i feel.
U are a amazing writer...i could never be as good as u are. I'm serious. my poems/writings/whatever could never be as vivid and desciptive as urs.
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Double woah.
Hello,and i'm another one of the judges.i read this and it left me hungry for more,the way the words were said and arranged to make me feel tingly inside.Thank you for your entry,i truly did LOVE it!Good luck,dear!
-Athena -
I'm speechless.
damn dude, i joined just so i can comment! that was really deep man... -
WOW THIS POEM IS AMAZING... SLIGHTLY DEPRESSING AS IT SOUNDS AS IF U ALMOST WRITING ABOUT MY LIFE.
WELL ANYWAY GREAT WRITE
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Woah.
Firstly,i'd just like to say thank you for entering my contest.this was so beautifully depressing.you knew exactly what i wanted.i have felt the same way (except,ofcourse,i'd probably try to hang myself with a rope or something),and take it from me,you have some real talent.In fact,Welcome to the finalist list.i have to talk to the other judges,but you can bet on getting a trophy.
-Pixie
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I amazed by this poem. I could never get anything better then what you have done!
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oh thanx
I'm sure anyone can do better then this, hell, if i try hard enough i could do better. lol, isn't it sad that i'm not the biggist fan of my own poetry?
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woah..........................................speechles........
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WOW this is such a heart filled poem this tops all the others i have read ............ keep up the great work! i love everything about this poem!
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This is soo amasing...soo deep and wow...im speachless...i love everything about it
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wow! this seems to be areally deep poem! i especially like the last part and were it talks about the crimson color of the blood! if ypou ever need someont to talk to, im here for you! i know what ur going through cause i cut and ive attempted suicide, so if u ever want to, drop me an im, and if im not there, ill get back to you as soon as possible! love ya!
bye!
~andrew
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AWESOME
I've felt like and done that before. This poem is filled with heartbreak and loss and a desire for escape.
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i like this poem!i like poems of death i think its sad to actually kill yourself over another person but this poem was really awsome
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OMG it's amazing
this poem is the best description of peoples emotions i have ever read. it's so deep and so meaningful, i'm absolutely amazed... very well done for that
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WOW
I've been gone from allpoetry for the longest period of time now, and just came back on, your poem was the first i read in a while, and this poem was WOW, undescribable, i loved it! It's filled with emotion. Keep up the good work!!
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