Stepping out into the cold
I've got a pack of Reds and a flask of Jack
Perhaps it'd be smarter just to step back
For this night neglects to bring me the plight that I sought
It's a worthless win for this fight that I fought
Through a clenched fist that's angry at best
For this passion missed, for the lust without rest
And upon my arm his scar is fading
Slipping off of my body and into my soul
I remember the eyes that turned tail and changed
As they watched lonely dusk segue into day
This was new and exciting, introspective and introverted
Much like new purified love I've converted
Relief from tension amongst troubled minds
Repeat the words that she told you to say
Release the leash around my throat
So I can sing you soft tender notes
Though your hand is far too selfish
It wants to keep me to itself
As our minds, they mesh themselves
Into a chaotic state of hell
Snowblind again and tagging along
For a passionate kiss that lasts far too long
So tell me what you see when you look me in the eye,
Does it look like forever, or another waste of time?
A torn apart canvas all spattered with paint
It all comes together when you mix in our fate
As the old takes on new, now I'm just old news
I digress to his "superior" views
I was a hopeless romantic until he turned manic
And couldn't hold up his own head
Now I'm hopelessly frantic, and my brain starts to panic
Whenever I roll out of my bed
But let us sing songs aloud as we drive down this road
Meandering towards some kind of new life that was slowed
The expressway means love since what was true is far gone
But at least we can say that we drove along, without sunder or sorrow
Author notes
OH NO NOT AN EMO SONG
A contest entry
- Inspiration lost in the Dark by Sia.
450 points, ended April 20, 2008, 23 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
-
Compelling lines here:
"Though your hand is far too selfish
It wants to keep me to itself
As our minds, they mesh themselves
Into a chaoitic state of hell"
This certainly sings to the reader and creates an illusion of power.
-
Stepping out into the cold
I've got a pack of Reds and a flask of Jack
Perhaps it'd be smarter just to step back
For this night neglects to bring me the plight that I sought
It's a worthless win for this fight that I fought
Through a clenched fist that's angry at best
For this passion missed, for the lust without rest
And upon my arm his scar is fading
Slipping off of my body and into my soul
I remember the eyes that turned tail and changed
As they watched lonely dusk segue into day
This was new and exciting, introspective and introverted
Much like new purified love I've converted
fave lines...great job, i love your flow and rhythm, keep at it -
beautiful poem. the flow is very good. it is very nice picture painted with the delicate words. "But let us sing songs aloud as we drive down this road" i really like this line. i am so glad i read it. thank you for sharing. all the best - sukhdarshan
-
This is pretty good.I like it.I could hum along with it.The words flowed easily and were easy to understand and follow.I think that maybe you could experiment with the backround some at least I would.But you are really talanted at writing.
Adding your comment:
