The world is a circle, spinning around and around. Today I'm a pillar of strength, tomorrow caustic feelings have knocked me down.
Life is a process, life is a lesson. Today I'm quick and a good study, tomorrow I'll have missed my blessing.
The year is 12 months long, 365 days. Today I'm endowed with inspiration and direction, tomorrow is gray and insipid, I'm lost in the maze. Seemingly, life can throw a fit, punching as if it were, the breath from the belly, but instinctively we gasp for that next breath. As if to say,amusingly, "Is that the most you can do?" "I'm gonna face tomorrow chin up even if it turns out to be blue.
Ronke A.
Author notes
Written October 26th, 2003
A contest entry
- October New Members- "Chin Up" Poetry Contest - Hosted by The AllPoetry Greeter Staff by CookieZeal.
300 points, ended November 3, 2003, 22 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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good
good stuff keep up the work -
I like your "different" sort of rhythm.
interesting piece.
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Nicely written. I DO wish that you had written this in a poetic form, as it is a GOOD piece! Thank you so much for entering!!!
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I agree with Shaggy's appraisal here - it's a great piece and my only suggestion was to be regarding the use of future and past tense within the one line.
A great entry - thank you for taking the time to enter and welcome to Allpoetry
~Von~ -
well, a lot of people could learn a lot from this peice, namely to realize that all the so called "self help" books will never do for you what you can not already do for your self.
The only real area about this write is the why it was laid out. Try some different spacing andand shortening the lines some; e.g.
The world is a circle, spinning around and around. Today I'm a pillar of strength, tomorrow caustic feelings have knocked me down.
Perhaps it could be written like this
The world is a circle
spinning 'round and 'round.
Today I'm a pillar of strength,
Tomorrow caustic feelings
May knock me down.
just a suggestion,
good luck in the contest
peace be with & blessed be;
shaggy wolf
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