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Cupcakes Are Suicide

I don’t know what this is,
a poem or a rant,
all I know is I need to eat….

But I can’t.

Addiction
to
starvation
is
eating me
alive,

Hunger pain
is
ignored by
these
bones that
I hide.

I’m fulfilled when empty,
bad habits that kill,
I promise everyone I won’t…

But I will.

Cupcakes
are
suicide,
for
temptation shall
worsen,

The skinny
sad
version of
the
jolly fat
person.

Pretend not to notice,
my soul that has died,
you thought I was getting better….

But I lied.

Atrophy
to
digestion
is
my worst source
of pain,

It’s feeding
my
obsession
with
excuse to
refrain.

My body is broken,
clogged and corroded,
just a girl disappearing…..

My cupcake is loaded.

Author notes

Option 10.... eating disorder

jamiedoring

In a list

A contest entry

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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 86 of 86

  • misstherains
    October 13
    Edit | Reply
    amazing....Addiction
    to
    starvation
    is
    eating me
    alive,

    I can totally relate and its so powerful..good work


  • Ellis gold member
    August 11

    Edit | Reply

    Delightful, ingenious poem

    This is really a joy to read for its great poetry. It is remarkable that even though, really, the message is sad, yet I smiled through the whole poem!


  • Walking Oxymoron gold member
    December 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    The skinny
    sad
    version of
    the
    jolly fat
    person.

    Loving that!! And it echoes a poem I wrote called My Reflection--
    'a smaller darker version of a bigger brighter me'
    ( http://allpoetry.com/poem/4889719 )

    I really liked this poem, and it's sad that at 32 you are still fighting this demon! I wish you the best.
    (Random fact- I love your shirt in your profile pic!)


  • starving4perfection
    November 19, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    its a sad storyy but its really true...ur emotions came thru well well done keep it up!


  • loveisfreedom
    October 7, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    very nice

    This was good and tells a sad story that happens more often then not and it sickens me the way some people are treated this was a good expression of that
    Good one...


  • Rheea gold member
    August 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I have read this before and it has stayed with me. As a nurse and mother it worries me. As a woman I myself take topomax for migraines and my weight stays below normal. This stays with me because of the impact of your writing also it burns on this. You are a beautiful woman . you would be regardless if you weighed more. God Bless.


  • BarbedWireButterfly
    July 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Interesting. Some bits lost my attention while others managed to keep a hold of it. The shape of it was a good add on. I personally, didn't like the choppiness of it and found the flow was poor in some sections. That's just my opinion though. Thank you for entering and good luck =D


  • Pisces Pieces
    June 25, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I can see why you are adorned with many a trophy! You tackle these subjects with amazing insight and understanding...you pull such reality and emotion out with your words.

    It helps me to better understand, if even just a little, and for that I am grateful because I often seek to understand the diseases that consume people...you never know when you may be confronted by it in a loved one, a friend, or even a stranger, and knowledge is power, especially in empathy and compassion.

    Another fantastic write!!


  • paiz3mily
    June 11, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    AMAZING. it sent shivers down my spine. i got goosebumps from ur last lines "My body is broken, clogged & corroded, just a girl dissapearing, my cupcake is loaded" i absolutely loved this poem because i can relate to it. wonderful rhyming scheme. flowed r

    Beautiful.

    <3 paizlie


  • Lucy.
    May 27, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    An insightful look into what I'm sure many can relate to. I love the title. Congratulations on the array of trophies you have up there!


  • Rovingone gold member
    May 23, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    The Truth!

    Oh, that is hits so close to home, it hurts. I spent most of my life, so far, watching the calories, the fat, the numbers on the scale and the mirror, wondering what the looks were, when I went by. When you grow up a fat kid you really have a love hate affair with food. I love to bake too, and I can't resist my own cooking, so I have a double whammy. You really hit the nail on the head.


  • teddybare
    May 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    mmmm cupcakes..

    let me lick the frosting off of that sweet sweet cupcake yikes .. was that crude ? lol sorry .. i can resist just about everything ... sept for temptation on the real tho this poem is very good and no laughing matter


    • jamiedoring
      May 22, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      teddybare....

      THATS what you get out of this poem? lmao.

      chocolate, brownies, cupcakes....I am seeing a pattern here in your comments and I am completely convinced that eating disorders are NOT an issue for you, lol.

      Thanks for the comment, cracked me up.


      • Rianna Bear
        May 26, 2008

        Edit | Reply
        yup...lol, leave it to teddy to get side tracked by sweets and ladies


  • Patpowers silver member
    April 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Nice job again here Jamie! It's a problem that is not easy to write about but you certainly captured the essence. THANKS!


  • death-raab
    April 28, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    wow i love it


  • true.romance
    April 24, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    wow. this is really good. You really captured the feeling nicely. such a sad story, but true for so many people.

    Usually rhyming poems bother me because so many people don't know how to do it properly, but your great at it.


  • MartaJay
    April 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Anorexia is a very hard eating disorder to leave behind. I wish you the best of luck and never give up!


  • Soul2b
    April 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Wow

    That was probably one of the deepest poems I have ever read, It brought tears to my eyes. I relate to this on such a different note, although You can still hear the Same Sound. I wrote a poem In 5th grade that was close to temptations of sundial's the pain it cause me tow rite something so true. Will never be forgotten. "My cupcake was loaded"too. I really like this poem

    PS. You are really Pretty

  • Akiladelle
    April 21, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Again, your rhymes seem to flow very naturally (from you)... I love the choppy, quick format - each line makes an impact. The shortness of most lines visually emphasizes the narrator's "thinness".

    The contradictions make a lot of sense. I hope you're alright, though! Either you've got a lot of insight or personal experience, because it's very honest.

    Lovely


  • zochit2me gold member
    April 4, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    You really are amazing with rhyme. One of the best I believe I have seen.
    This is a sad thing that many many deal with.
    Love that ending line...made me smile

    Becky


  • Dalaney gold member
    April 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    lol...I LOVE your writing
    My name is Lane...I just added
    you to my favorites...this is
    such a clever poem.

    Love, Lane


  • ninchick08
    April 2, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    omg that was amazing! i loved it. i like the way it flows, just rolls off your tongue... beautiful


  • Rakerman1
    April 2, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This holds a special meaning to me as my sister battled anorexia. I remember how frail she seemed...as if death awaited around the corner. She beat it though, with love of family and great personal strength. I luv ya Sis.

    This was very well done
    Roses
    Raker


  • Arrianna MacEwan
    April 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Incredible write. I like adore the way the words fall down the page yet everything rhymes as if in an old fashioned form. Great write and good luck in the contest.


  • Clyde-Frog-Butt
    April 1, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    this is a good one


  • Nephlim
    March 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This has to be the best poem about anorexia I've read Just the title itself was really good, and the rhyming was awesome, I almost didn't notice it because it fit so well with the poem. ^-^ I liked how the thoughts seemed broken too, how the lines were short sometimes. The beginning and end were really good too!
    GREAT job
    diggin it majorly
    A+++++wesome


  • Pure Thought silver member
    March 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Understand why this has so many trophies. Well done in style and content.
    I sure hope it is just a REALLY good write and not necessarily true.
    Buddy


  • Lotus-Mama
    March 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Hands Down the BEST Eating Issues Poem Ive read!!!! Amen!! LOL

    "The skinny
    sad
    version of
    the
    jolly fat
    person."

    "Pretend not to notice,
    my soul that has died,
    you thought I was getting better….

    But I lied."

    Awesome write. Emotional, Raw and flows great!


  • Marcy Anna
    March 24, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is probably one of the best pieces I've ever read that deals with a persons inner battle. We all have these demons to face and it seems so scary and so overwhelming while it's happening, but the human heart always knows where to find help...it's our blesses instinct. Loved this piecce for many reasons.

  • Punzel
    March 20, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Oh my gosh. I love this poem. The last line made me laugh, it's like a realistic hilarious view on it.

  • Patpowers silver member
    March 13, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Goood work on this Jamie. You painted quite an emotional picture by writing this. Excellent job on addressing this problem.


  • fallenstar588
    March 4, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is really really good writing. I love how it's a fresh way of telling something, that has been talked about so much. My favorite part is I’m fulfilled when empty,
    bad habits that kill,
    I promise everyone I won’t…

    But I will.


  • lizwicker
    March 3, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    wow i love that, just like i love all your work


  • ShotgunSherri--
    March 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    wow. this is a terrific piece i love it!

    the rhyming is great and it flows perfectly.

    i love the meaning bought with every stanza.

    BRAVO!

    x.x.x.x.


  • novacaine.
    February 28, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    this is an amazing write.
    tragic, but i love it.

    good luck.

    xxx


  • black lagoon x
    February 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I promise everyone I won’t…

    But I will.

    I love you ♥♥♥♥
    this absolutely broke my heart,and made me wish i was a better person...
    you're so amazing.


  • glitterSTARxxx
    February 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Addiction
    to
    starvation
    is
    eating me
    alive,

    Hunger pain
    is
    ignored by
    these
    bones that
    I hide.


    oh my god ♥ you know me too well.this is really amazing.Good luck in the contest,i know she'll like it as much as me.


  • MelissahhMidnite
    February 20, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    wow. i love this! such a sad story but the flow and the rhyming is so effective and perfect.


  • Dead Star--x
    February 20, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    My body is broken,
    clogged and corroded,
    just a girl disappearing…..

    My cupcake is loaded



    beautiful♥ amazing
    youve blown me away with this doll
    Dead Star--x


  • Dutch Doll
    February 5, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    this is really touching, well penned... really worth all the trophies won, my heart goes out to those with this disease


  • walkinthereign
    January 20, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I really like this poem! Its no surprise that it won so many rewards! I like the lines:

    I’m fulfilled when empty,
    bad habits that kill,
    I promise everyone I won’t…

    But I will.

  • dillpickle62
    January 18, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Cupcakes

    I get it. The way you centered the poem. What a great idea!
    And not to worry. Cupcakes aren't all their cracked up to be anyways. Perhaps one day you'll share a little lobster without the butter with someone special. Excellent writing here.


  • Perfectly Imperfect
    January 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow. This is a very strong piece of writing. Gosh, I don't even know what to say. I see myself in this a lot, in my younger days. This is a very raw piece, yet you have dealt with it in a sensitive way. Well done on a fantastic, albeit sad write, and good luck in the contest x


  • kiwigirljacks gold member
    January 2, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Great job in explaining the emotions one goes through with this.... It's raw and honest.

    Well done!!


  • metalchik1988
    December 29, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    AWWWWW....I know how you feel in a sense...Im a big girl and I try not to eat bad things although I just got through eatting doughnuts...It's weird. there are two different ways that you can inturpret this one poem...either your big and you're trying to loose weight or you're skinny and if you eat something you'll feel guilty about it. I loved this poem...the person who did this contest is a good friend of mine and she showed me this and I did a pouty face. Good job...I hope to read more of your stuff.

  • Judith Chandler
    December 23, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    My cupcake is loaded. Great imagery throughout.


  • girl shaman
    December 20, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    if you take out the center alignment i think i might just like it.. otherwise i will remove.
    you dont have to keep it that way forever just for now. thats all i ask.

    • jamiedoring
      December 20, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      There is purpose to the alignment in respect to the message in the poem. I edited real quick and looked and its lost with the Left alignment....but thank you very much for consideration, I have removed myself. :-)


      • Rianna Bear
        March 30, 2008
        Edit | Reply
        that's clever. skinny poem, for the skinny message. that was awesome!!

  • mrme gold member
    December 20, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Excellent

    Such a masterpiece by such a talented poet. A very unique taks on such a serious topic. Well done. Many very clever lines, but i do like "addiction to starvation is eating me alive".


  • Coat Check Dream
    December 19, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    this sounds sort of like a song. a really scary song. but it is wonderfully written and sounds like the mind of an anorexic...i'm sorry for you. hopefully we can all get over this terrible disease...for the sake of everyone else at least.


  • Menace
    December 19, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    But I like cupcakes. Eh, not really so much. Don't really eat sugar anymore. I still like this though. It has some good metaphors and a unique sorta style to it. Good Job!


  • Clinging-to-Life
    December 17, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    this is simlply beautiful...I love it.


  • Poetic Butterfly
    December 17, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Great write "The skinny sad version of the jolly fat
    person." My fav line. Good luck to you in the contest.


    PoeticButterfly

  • blackhawk78
    December 17, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Un Freaking belivieble. The legend is born. You, are a star being born. This was, The kind of stuff that people will read 100 yrs from now. A masterpiece.


  • ThatONEweirdChick
    December 17, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Opps!


  • creationsfromheart
    December 16, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    well this was not what I accepted with the title

    way more in depth and yes certainly a death if not eating correctly will be your waiting. I hope this was written for inspiration and not of your own exsperiance,

  • BeautifulCurse
    December 16, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    very interesting.. i would have never thought of this topic.. very original and creative.. shows remorse, temptation, sadness, shame, i could go on and on.. your feeling of being trapped is very clear.. good word choice and structure.. kudos to you great write and good luck..


  • szne416
    December 16, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    wow. i loved your structure, it was a visual representation of what you were saying, the narrow long lines, etc. often times people skip lines for no reason, or just move their words around just for fun. your poem was refreshing in that the structure had a purpose. what an emotional entry, it takes courage to post up something like that.

    • jamiedoring
      December 16, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      Thank You!

      You have totally made my day! The way this was written was experimental and most definatly did serve purpose to the message being sent. Nobody has picked up on that til you, and it just made me smile real big....so thanks!

      Comment much appreciated.


  • BeyondMoonlight
    December 16, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Yum.

    Good go. I was rather surprised by the approach-to-structure that you used. I enjoyed it, good job and good luck.

    And yes maybe it will raise more awareness to eating disorders in their varying degrees and intensities. Been there, done that =/.


  • Li snuffles
    December 16, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Wow...*!* this is a really powerful peom.. and it will raise awareness on eating disorders

    Thank you for writing and sharing this poem... (just on AP) and a complete sincere thank you for entering my contest to give me a chance to read this powerful piece of writing

    ..xo!"


  • MissStranger
    December 16, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    hey,this was fantastic!very unique and pretty challanging!both style and structure are equally inspiring!well done indeed!keep up and good luck in the contests!


  • Norman Crabtree
    December 15, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Thank you for entering my contest

    This was really raw and personal, and when i first saw this i thought it was going to be another predictable teenage angst poem that is a little melo-dramatic, but i was surprised. The form really helped this piece, the use of enjambment then a stanza was really clever and original. The image or phrase of cupcakes are suicide is a really pertinent and succint phrase.

    I would get rid of the first bit, the i dont know what this is... it doesn't add anything brilliant to it... and maybe a little tightening so you avoid repeating yourself...


    ~norm


  • leander Moderators member
    December 15, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    This is quite a good poem that you have written here, full of great imagey and metaphors... It took me a while to find the rhyming in there to be honest, but I did so yay

    Thank you for entering the contest - I wish you the best of luck!
    Leander


  • dead-love-for-fun
    December 13, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    great write.


  • DAMSELx
    December 11, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    amazing job.

    what more is there to say?


  • lilblueeyesmine1978
    December 11, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    well written thanks for sharing. I like the way that this was written and thanks for entering my contest. This part was great. My body is broken,
    clogged and corroded,
    just a girl disappearing…..

    My cupcake is loaded.
    Thanks again. am dgood luck.


  • Loveandblessings2u gold member
    December 9, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    First I want to ask you to please not 5 star my comment
    I am trying not to find out who anyone is.

    I know what you write about here is a real problem for many people, yet it isn't talked about very much, many try ao hard to hide it. I am very happy that you wrote this piece.

    "But I lied.

    Atrophy
    to
    digestion
    is
    my worst source
    of pain"

    This must have been hard to write about these fact.
    Thanks for entering my contest and good luck.

    Loveandblessings2u & yours always
    Joyce

  • Sophie 1
    December 9, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Oh my gods I liked this. One starts off thinking this is going to be a funny read, but it turns out to be a thoughtful, raw and real piece. Good job...and good luck.


  • Arizona Sunset
    December 9, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Excellent poem! Full emotion and deep message that should be heard. Pain and struggle felt in this write. Really think it is an amazing piece of poetry! ~blessings to you always~


  • reckless abandon
    December 9, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Wow. This really is full of feeling and emotion.
    Good luck in the contest and thanks for entering :]


  • tala18
    December 6, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Very nice!

    I definately like how you use the cupcake ...
    It's good lol
    And your format is quite interesting ...
    And I love it!
    Congrats!


  • ShadowsMidnightRose
    December 5, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    I absolutly love this one! I've never gotten my poems to ryhme so perfectly. Nicely done!


  • jcat gold member
    December 3, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    How the heck did you get this to rhyme so flawlessly?? You truly did an amazing job on this piece!!! You are an incredible poetess!!! Good luck in these contests!!

  • tsavo
    December 3, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Mom and Dad think it's very very Good! By the way, are u eating?

    • jamiedoring
      December 3, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      Intervention!!!!!

      Mom & Dad......LOL, first Pastel2000 (see her comment...sound like anyone u know?), now you guys, too?? Is this an online intervetion? Good to know Im cared about, lol..... Love Ya!! XOXOXO


  • Rheea gold member
    December 3, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    ah sweetie i hope this is your wonderful talent and that it is not real.


  • BonaFidePoet
    December 2, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I LOVE the back and forth arguement in this poem. The rhyming is perfect, the whole subject, so perfectly brought together. Awesome job!


  • JustAnotherIdoit
    December 2, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Amazing

    i thought this was gonna be really funny then i read it and... thats really good. impact. the pink background has impact too, lmao. ouch...


  • Sin Aesthetic
    December 2, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    To be honest, I hate cupcakes. But I love this piece. "But I can't", "But I will", and "But I Lied" are probably the best lines in the whole poem. I love the strength of the message throughout the whole thing. And I love your style of writing.


  • Gossamer Guile
    December 2, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Wow. Impact indeed. The title caught me, as cupcakes sound good this time of year... The words hit me hard. This poem is so full of grief....Beautifully written. Truly inspiring. Perhaps if you are unable to help yourself that this poem will help someone else. Terrific write. Well done.

  • pastel2000
    December 2, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Very interesting poem. One question When will you see what you are worth just how you are

    • jamiedoring
      December 2, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      Pastel 2000

      I think its funny that you think ur little fake name makes u anonymous, lol......I know its YOU, and YOU know that answer to that question.....
      :-)


  • Quill
    December 2, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Good luck in the contest!

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