The puzzle of my life, assorted pieces.
The easy part, the outline, is done.
Leaving all the blanks in the middle.
Some of the pieces fit easily while others I fit together with a hammer.
The hammer of your criticism and judgment.
I have slowly learned that I will never live up to your expectations.
Squirming, pinned under the microscope of your scrutiny.
The ruler you measure with I do not have.
Too many pieces in and of me seem to be missing.
So the puzzle remains unsolved, unfinished.
While I look for all the missing pieces
Author notes
Just tired of trying to meet the expectations of others. I'm trying to find the parts of me that I laid down somewhere along the way.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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Wow! I have felt this same way a thousand times! Very good analogy! Nice job.
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and for myself no...
unfortunately for myself, some of their pieces have become parts of me - which i try hard not to despise, flailing around as they move from one spot to another, ever so slightly morphing their shape to fit so i have to chase em around.. some i've succeeded in banishing forever, some i've painted myself to have em easier to look at, some.... pervasively evasive...
ps: ALL of the pieces are there ; ) perhaps we need to use clay instead of cardboard ?
ty.
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A well written engrossing poem filled with pain that tugs at the heart. The rhythm and story line are perfect and flow with a sad and tortured beat. Your feelings come through strong and straight from the heart where most good poetry is born. It paints a picture with words that make you feel them...this is hard to accomplish and you done it well.
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Short, but well-said, full of depth and emotion. I like your wording. And I like how you have ended this,
'Too many pieces in and of me seem to be missing.
So the puzzle remains unsolved, unfinished.
While I look for all the missing pieces '
I think we all can relate to this. Well done.
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I like the metaphor quite a bit, and there's the interesting spin you've put on the different way puzzle pieces enter into your life. My favorite part is the duality of the ruler line- there is a great possible gender-interpretation if my assumption is right that the narrator is a female and the adressee of the poem is a male.
The piece would benefit I think, from developing more of a style. That would take the piece from the level of interesting musing on sound metaphor into the dimension of great poetry. The language is solid, but uninteresting- and the poem has no flow. It's not fun to speak- it might as well just be read out of a conversation. Try some word play, deconstructing sentences- and maybe you don't have to explain the metaphor quite as literally and clearly as you do. The meaning of the piece could sink in or have a moment at the end where its literal interpretation is brought out in clear light through a revealing line.
If that's not your thing, then maybe you could develop this into a monologue- it's got an easy cadence to it and the ideas within it are rife with emotionality and would play very well on stage.
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yeah um wow
this pain left me speechless and when words finally escaped my mouth all i cld say was wow and this is amazing, so short yet so descriptive i love it!!!!!
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This is truley a reflective soul searching piece.I relly can understand your thinking and wanting to try to figure things out.I do that too.Some times it helps but at other times in one's life it is hard to do.I think your thoughts and feelings in this piece was easy to follow and understand.You picked out the perfect name for this piece and you truely are a gifted writer.
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This is a wonderful extended metaphor that you've penned here. It is rather short for a poem, but you capture your emotion very well, and you carried your theme and metaphor through to the very end. Nicely done, and thank you for featuring. Happy holidays
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