There is a mill just up stream
with a waterwheel
that no longer turns
There is garden plot
overgrown with Boston Ferns,
pine spills,
and weeds have wrestled with stone
to take over
someone’s new garden
in my backyard
There is a hollow in my mattress
that I did not create
It would fit her firm refusal
to move
A contest entry
- Give me Everything you've Got by CrystalJet.
600 points, ended March 14, 2008, 318 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
-
Lovely set of images expressing how difficult it is to recover from a profound loss. The "hollow" speaks to the literal mattress and to the soul where the hollow would not be replaced by turning the mattress or by buying a new one
-
A wonderful piece, so understated. "it would fit her firm refusal to move." The other details also help to created the picture of loneliness that this seems like the type who would get on with it.
-
"There is a hollow in my mattress
that I did not create
It would fit her firm refusal
to move"
Magnificent. The title reminded me of a song by Mark Knopfler, "The Scaffolder's Wife"...a sorrowful piece, laden with beauty, that depicts a lady "losing her looks over company books ~ the scaffolder's wife". Although I am not "officially" a widow, I know the "firm refusal to move" quite well. Good luck in the contest, my dear Friend. 
Wanda
-
excellent
very wonderful and creative. Your words always weave such magic.
-
I like this. It's a simple poem, but the way it's written makes you go back and read it again, carefully. It's not like some poems where people just skim it. It's a little sad, but somewhat happy in the same way. I like the simplicity of the phrasing of the message in this
Adding your comment:
1 - 5 of 5
