The moon is shining overhead
Reminding me of what you said
I'm missing you so badly
My heart is spinning
In an alternate dimension and
I'm wondering if you're wishing
On the same star wishing the same thing
Summer nights can seem so long without you
I wonder where you are
thinking if you're thinking of me
It's been so long since we've last spoken
I remember every joke and every smile
In your voice in our conversation
Signed "missing you"
Can you please say you love me
One more time before I go
So that I can remember
exactly how it sounds
'cause when you say it,
you say it just for me
Author notes
Completely not my normal style. What can I say? I was in love...
A contest entry
- If It Makes You Happy. by La Tua Cantante.
380 points, ended January 2, 2008, 16 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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Wonderful...
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nice write i really like this!
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This is by far one of my favorite poems in the contest. It really shows the emotions and thoughts of teenage romances. The waiting. The wishing. The wanting. All of it. My favorite line is:
“My heart is spinning in an alternate dimension and I'm wondering if you're wishing on the same star wishing the same thing” It’s really a captivating line, I know I’ve wondered the same thing before. Wonderful expressions are used in here. You seem like you really have a great hand at writing.
Thank you and good luck in my contest.
-Dana.
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Welcome to Allpoetry
Beautiful expression of love here, nice to feel that way for sure... but just one thing, perhaps breaking this into stanzas would add more impact than the block poetry which is hard to read... check out some other poetry and see how it reads in comparison..
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Karen
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i really like your poetry but the only thing that you have to work on is your structure...dont write you poetry in the form of a paragraph, if you add spaces and lines it tends to give the piece more meaning and it looks nicer...but i really do like the poetry maybe you can check mine out...anything would be helpful
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