A contest entry
- NO GREENS! - A Rounds Contest by Idle Mind Wondering.
1700 points, ended December 18, 2007, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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It is hard to learn in life that all lies are not face value or traceable back to a single statement, rather they evolve in the form of perceptions. I like your direction; however, your form needs improvement.
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A good entry depicting the fragile state of being “human”. It is often the case that the image we present may not always be the person we are, but perhaps, the person we would like to be.
Actions do speak louder than words and in many cases, perception is reality. You have touched on an age-old subject and handled it well.
A good take on this prompt and a sad, yet thoughtful piece in the awakening of truth.
Structurally, this flows fairly well. I am not one for the use of contractions in a poem and may have changed the word you're to you are, but that is a personal preference and the contraction does work in this case.
This line though:
"See me for what I truly am."
Works better as: "See me for who I truly am".
The “who” conveys the depth of the person, which I believe is what you want your message to convey.
Over all, a very good entry for this contest. Thank you for it and I wish you the best of luck in the judging. ~Pamela
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this is beautiful...me, the outspoken Amber silenced...amazing
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lol
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'Do you want me to be this person
always believing every word you utter?
When it is so clear,
you’re a misrepresentation'
i am at a loss for words with my comment... what a great point and a wonderful take on the prompt.
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