you licked the skin hiding your bones
and said you tasted naked
said there's something living in your flesh
something burning
like paper houses
behind curtains laced with arsenic and diamonds
you said we're all
trapped like wax fruit
in a plastic bowl
(artificial and frozen
perfect and flawless
unreal, yet, visibly real)
you said that if i had just a
few more cracked halos
rusty nails
salty kisses
i'd be
broken
like the splitting skulls of my forefathers
like the crumbling skin of my ancestors
like the parasites sucking on the wounds of my personal Messiah
and i'd
open my mouth
if you poured
faith and acid down my throat
i'd beg for more
if you shoved
cyanide and divination
through my rotting veins
put a bullet in my brain,
suck my hair for kicks
and i'm in love
if you taste like morphine and gospels,
i'm your soulmate
heroin and salvation,
i'm your lover
(we need an
experimental pause
to say a prayer
and have a wardrobe change...
....
.......
..........
right, we're back
cue the angels)
tighten the ribbon around my throat,
drown me in your bathtub,
beat me with a pipe
because i want it
like the cancer in your lungs
like the tumor in your brain
like the broken valve in your heart
like how the stardust shines
like church children
with their heads down
praying in little lines, little rows
so far from Heaven,
yet so close
so far from Hell,
yet so close
And you whispered,
"It's just like Heaven"
(or hot caviar
bird flu
herpes
gonorrhea
insanity
hysteria
paranoia
leakingbloodontothesidewalkonahotdirtyfilthynightuntilyourotuntilyou'renothingatallbutbonesanddustandsinsandgelatin
or all of the above)
yeah
yeah, it is
It's just like Heaven
Author notes
Lmfao.
This is pretty controversial.
You either hate it or love it.
I'm still debating which one.
But anyways...it just...I dunno sort of came to me.
And the more I edited, the more it started to make sense.
It's about two people doing drugs, two anti-religion, fuck Jesus and God too, Mother Mary for a threesome people who are just like...blaspheming while high and hallucinating.
I didn't expect it to make sense.
Anywaysssss.
I'm just wondering what people think.
P.S.
It's also inpsired by the Cure
Major Chuck Palahniuk's Survivor influence here
Andddddd...
what else?
My twisted imagination, personal experience, and thoughts?
Yeah, that too.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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Hmm...i hate dirty pretty, a lot, so i abstain from commenting on it usually, as to spare the author my bias, but i figured what the hell, My opinion, and just my opinion, is that you have talent, albeit some of the lines look and feel forced, but for every line i disliked there were 2 i didn't. We've all got to start and practice somewhere, so i hope you continue to evolve, btw chuck is a great author, just don't let him influence you too much =P
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OH.
And this isn't dirty pretty.
Lmfao. <3 -
You know what, I agree.
Reading it over, it sounds extremely forced.
And that really makes me depressed because as I was writing it, it was very fluid. Just one thought after another.
But the flow seems almost mechanical now, like I was forcing myself to think of something shocking or slightly weird which was is really not what I was trying to do. Oh well. =[
Glad you liked it, though. And thanks for the applause. <3 -
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o.o
This doesn't sound forced.
Don't say that.
It was brilliant.
Shush.
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By the way,
this inspired me to write something decent.
So I think I will. -
What personal experience triggered this?!
Haha.
Chuck Palahniuk, is, amazing.
Simply, sincerely amazing.
I was trying to find Invisible Monsters written in French, but the only one I could fin was 600 some euros. >.>
This, m'dear was one of the most amazing things that have ever been leaked in the entire world.
I loved the description and the pules and it was all just beautiful.
So complex and crazy and I just loved the metaphors and imagery!
They were so beautiful and rich and true and it was just...
crazy.
I loved it.
I love, love, love, love, love it!
Perfection.
I don't even know what else to say?!
It's just, great.
I really do like it.
Wonderful job. <3 -
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Awwwww.
Thank youuuu.
<3
Lmfao.
What personal experiences?
Welllll.
Just the whole religion thing.
Drug use.
Other stuff.
Yeah.
But I'm glad you liked it. <3 -
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Awwe, you're using drugs, darling?
Not goooood.
:[ -
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Lmfao.
I'm not.
But I did.
Use to, I mean. -
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o.o
Still not good.
Don't do it.
Ever.
Again.
It's baadddddd. -
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Lmfao.
Yes, Master.
<3
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Have you seen Requiem of a Dream? (I think that was the name), your poem reminded me of that movie.
It was interesting.
Thankyou for sharing.
Love and Light.
*Raven Tears*
@}---}----- -
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Oh, thank you. =]
I actually haven't seen it yet.
I've been meaning too, though.
Glad you liked it. <3
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