On silent streets this time of year,
Strands of colored lights appear
In barren, twisted branches, sere
With winter’s chill;
And weekend artists volunteer
To mount frail ladders steep and sheer
And work to make more lights adhere
With tape and drill
To shingled slopes; while lawns austere
With frost-rimed grass seem less severe
As eager helpers engineer
Small wonderlands,
Where tiny Christmas trains career
On circled tracks, and snowmen peer
With bright-coal eyes (and never fear
The sun’s weak brands),
And—in a corner—quiet deer
Nod, or stand, ears flared to hear
Should any danger interfere
With Christmas peace.
Stag and doe at first seem mere
Supports a patient marketeer
(Whose motives might ring insincere)
Would peddle to fleece
The gullible, and with a sneer
Artfully mount tier by tier
With all his other Christmas gear….
Or so they seem.
But as day’s shadows disappear,
Their gentle halos softly shear
The gathering dark as, ice-quartz clear,
Their silvered gleam
Encapsulates a peace-filled sphere,
Assures us there’s no danger here,
No creeping enemies to fear
Where all was wild;
What once seemed crass now shines, sincere;
Their tranquil pose helps us revere
The Prince of Peace, our Ransom Dear:
The Christmas Child.
Author notes
Contest 1: Christmas Rhymes
A contest entry
- TEN THOUSAND POINTS OF RHYME! (now 12,000) by cricketjeff.
1850 points, ended December 4, 2007, 31 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Rhyming Christmas poems by ecrivain01.
450 points, ended December 4, 2007, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Second Chance contest for Rhyming Xmas poems from previous contest. by ecrivain01.
450 points, ended December 7, 2007, 7 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - All views on Christmas and Holidays in General by SatanicTemptation09.
600 points, ended December 21, 2007, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Joy to the world!!! 1,000 christmas poems wanted!!! by Elvenfairy.
3265 points, ended March 1, 2008, 141 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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the immagry in this was amazing! Wonderful poem! Thank you for entering my contest. I am so sorry it is taking me so long to judge, but there are a lot of entries, and I have been completly swamped at school. Anyways, good luck!
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i normally do no like so much rhyming but it worked. the pacing and flow of it was a course but overall well written. nice use of the words to show imagery
I did like your last two lines the most:
The Prince of Peace, our Ransom Dear:
The Christmas Child.
Thank you for entering
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Thank you for your comment. I've never attempted rhyme to this extent either, especially without repeating any of the rhyme words...in part the challenge of it appealed to me, in part the calmness and tranquility of the sounds. "Deer" came first (after seeing so many of them alight on my neighbors' lawns this year), and the rest followed.
I appreciate the time you took in reading and responding.
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Congratulations on your trophy, a well deserved win.
We look forward to seeing you in the next round and subsequent rounds of our contest.
Thank you for your entry...Sue and Jeff
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EXCELLENT
It sounds like I hear bells ringing! I may be inexperienced, but I have NEVER before seen a rhyme scheme like this. It is brilliant -- your being able to do it. Outstanding writing. This is the first I have read by you. It sure won't be the last.
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This is a great poem ...
and I really enjoyed reading it. I'm almost tempted to do a Christmas contest myself.
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Thanks. Glad it spoke to you. It's part of a Christmas Suite I'm working on as a present for my family this year; and so far it's the one that pleases me most. And it was a real challenge to write mono-rhyming triplets and see how long I could go without repeating any of the words.
Hope you do try a Christmas contest...I'll be sure to keep an eye out for it.
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Meant for round 1 entered in round 2 please remove here and re-enter there.
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The rhthymn in the piece is nicely lyrical and feels almost like a spell being cast or the net of a noel unknown before cast to bring me into the Christmas song. The images of decoration and preparation shown with a loving touch, so I am left appreciating the love and dedication of those who decorate so much. Very well done.
Merry Christmas and A Happy New Year,
Tom B.
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I appreciate the reading; you caught much of what the poem was meant to touch on. I especially like the idea of a spell being cast...that feels just right. Thanks
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