Letter To Me

Dear me,

What have you done? Where have you gone? So many mistakes....careless mistakes. You no longer care about what happens to you. You stand up and fight only for Colton. What would happen if Colt was taken out of the equation? Would you fall and give up on the world? Would you forfeit your life? Would you allow anything to matter anymore? Can you see what you're doing to yourself? Take a look in the mirror. I know what it is you see. A face, hallow and empty. Pale and gaunt. Eyes, lost and oblivious. Filled with pain and loss. Hands, feeble and shaky. They have failed to help you fight your way out of this. A body, skeletal. It shows through to the soul that is so cold and empty. Legs that can't hold you up and refuse to allow you to step forward. You see nothing. There's nothing in that mirror worth seeing. But it doesn't matter does it? You are falling and you won't even put out your hands to break your fall. I can't say that you don't care. Because you still have emotions. You can still feel. Whether it be pain or anger. Loss or regret. It doesn't matter. You still feel.

I know you're lost. And there's such a petrified fear living inside you. You still put up a fight against it. Still stand no matter how hard you fell. But if you can't stand back up for yourself...what's the point of standing at all? You're still fighting, but you've lost your reason and will for what you were fighting for. I don't know what else to do for you. To feel, say or try for you. One day, you aren't going to be able to get back up. And then what will we do? You're mind is slipping away from me. And i'm losing my grip on our sanity. So do you fall this one last time, and see if there's anyone out there to pick you up? Or do you stand here, bleeding and dying inside?

Love always,

Me