She is still here.
I was just a kid,
angry in my impotence to do something
I ran home,
surprised,
my eyes open wide
keeping the tears away,
fists closed
with nails piercing palms,
lungs tense, gasping for air...
I wasn't able to watch her.
She was
a dark furred lady-bear
with sad, wet eyes,
dancing to the rhythm of a tambourine.
In her irises I saw
the verdure of woods,
berries and wild fruits,
the immensity of mountains
and the sweetness of cold waterfalls and honey laden trees.
With a chain nailed to her nose,
standing upright on rear legs
all
she was begging for
was
freedom.
Author notes
POM
This poem has nothing with Banjo Paterson lyrics "Waltzing Matilda". This poem is about another Matilda, she-bear I met several time during my childhood who had the same name by chance. I am not sure that she is still alive.
The dancing bear is a mistreated animal who is forced to dance for an audience. this problem is well known in many countries all over the world.
On the WSPA site you can find much more about it.
http://wspainternationalorg.ozstaging.com/dancing_bears.asp
In a list
A contest entry
- Poem of the Month - POM by Arkbear.
2625 points, ended December 1, 2007, 13 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 35 of 35
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I think this is close to stunning as you can get
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Very sad write
I so hate to see animals done this way and yes it brings tears to my eyes
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Thank you for your visit and for comment. It means a lot to me.
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A terribly sad sight to see. It's a practice that was prevalent in medieval times in Britain too – thankfully no more. Your poem is a wonderful advocate for the freedom of these mistreated animals.
Beautifully written and the border fits perfectly. Von
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Sentiments so well expressed in these lines - how sad a case that these wild creatures are penned up and made to dance to make money for people. Nice gold trophy too, by the way.
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Excellent!
Wow did you take this one with a beauty. What a sad story Sonja! Excellent job on both presentation and feelings. Grand job and informative as well!!
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awwe how sad Matilda's life was or still is. I'm sure your thoughts drift back to her unforunate life from time to time. a worthy gold you have won for this awesome write!!!!
GBY
SilverButterfly -
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Thank you very much GBY for your visit to my site and for kind and nice comment.
~Sonja~
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My apologies for missing this one Sonja...to say you brought tears to my eyes was an understatement. I am so glad that something is being done to help these beautiful creature finally and bringing their plight into view is another way to draw attention to not only these dignified animals but to others. Many many congratulations on this well deserved "Gold"
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Oh, there is no need to apologize for nothing. Finally people are doing somethings to protect this great animal, and not only this one. I hope that things will not be done too late.
~Sonja~ -
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I hope so too
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Congratulations on the well-deserved Gold!
This was so sad, but wonderfully written. Full of great images and emotion. And told well what a child can sometimes see and understand, but an adult doesn't.
Wonderful.
Congrats. again.
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Yes, and I already told the same. Thanks for reading, comment and applause.
~Sonja~
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A beautiful write. Heartfelt. Good imagery, flow and tone. Lovely depth of feelings of outrage and sadness. Vivid descriptives. Good word choice, alliteration and nice assonance. Congratulations on winning Gold. Well deserved.
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Thank you dear Shelley.
~Sonja~
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well done...
...the poetry is excellent. I like the way you have spaced your free verse and made the 3 stanzas. The first one tells me she is still there...and then you develop the theme. I did not realise the horror until late in the poem, when the emotion of your words hit me with a sudden clamp in my heart.
The poem has all the traits of an excellent verse.
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Thank you very much. I was thinking to write about this problem many times but always was too...it is even hard to say. It looks like now it was the right time for me to do that. I am glad that you like it.
~Sonja~
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I didn’t see any grammar mistakes at all, so bravo!
The flow had some awkward moments because of line breaks. However, some of them were for impact and I feel that they were very effective in that sense.
The emotional depth was incredible. I am not being hyperbolic in saying that this brought tears to my eyes. Also, had a real depth in that it had me thinking and feeling long after I finished reading.
It’s tough to comment. I have so little to critique and so much to admire here.
I do think you could break this up a tad bit more, as trista mentioned.
Please return to the PO’ contests with your tremendous skill! -
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Thank you very much. To you I can answer the same as to trista.
~Sonja~
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As someone who loves animals almost to an extreme and has taken in several previously abused pets...this is difficult for me to even read.
Both on a personal level and a poetic one, I think this is a poem that has amazing "staying" power. Not something that will be forgotten quickly by many who read it...or so I would hope. I said this in the last POW, and I'll say it again...having an emotional response to a poem is one thing, but when it makes you squirm in your seat, you know you've hit on something big.
The stanzas were maybe a tad bit long as I read, leaving me a little breathless and waiting for a pause...but all the things I want to see in a POM poem are present and in abundance - imagery, power, impact. Fantastic writing, and I thank you for bringing such a subject to light.
Good luck and best wishes,
~J. -
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Dear trista, I am always impressed with your deep review of my poetry (and not only mine). This is talking a lot of you. Thank you very much for your kindness and always honestly presented opinion. You are right, stanzas are a bit long with no too much punctuations, but it was written this way with a purpose, to keep a readers tense. To keep their mind on the road, so to speak...
You know that many times when you can't see poem but you can hear it, the shape of poem mostly don't have a lot of relations with your feelings about it. Thanks once again for your great friendly support.
~Sonja~
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Oh, that a five year old could recognize the bear's pain. So sad. Powerful, poignant write!
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Yes, you are right that a five year old could recognize the bear's pain but unfortunately some adult lost this possibility on their way to become adult. Thank you for comment and applause.
~Sonja~
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This is absolutely superb!
You are well deserving of the Gold. (This will be my first correct prediction).
Best wishes with the contest...
Write on!
*PEACE*
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Thank you very much islekine. I will call you to predict some other contests too. You are doing it great.
~Sonja~
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Masterpiece Sonja ~
*honey-laden*
I have gossebumps as I type ~
The emotiuons you have brought out of me are incredible !
This entry has everything I look for.....and you know me well enough, to know that I don't give out high praise unless an entry is sooooo well deserving ~
Power....Impact....Thought.....Imagery......Feelings......Focus, ( I do wish you would have dug just a weeeeeeee bit more on focus, but then it may have not flowed as well as it did........Theme......all superb Hun ~
May I say, this is the best read thus far ~
You have captured me, and my heart is touched deeply.........I am fighting back tears as I think about this cruel act of mankind...or should I say, ..man *meanness* ~
Thank you Sonja, for this delicious entry of Heartfelt words, in a large proportion of dedication to your Huge heart and soul ~
Bear ~
Title 9.95
Flow 10
Depth 10
Theme 10
Feelings 10
Grammar 10
Presentation 10
Uncommonness 10
Sit & Ponder Affect 10
Ability to follow Rules 10
Bears Score: 99.95
.....also....your Border is breath taking....simple, calm, yet befitting of this entrys genre ~
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So very sad.... it's shameful, really.
You have done Dancing Matilda a great service with this poem... lovely flow, powerful imagery, thoughts, and feelings... it makes it very hard to critique this.
But one thing I would have loved to see more of is punctuation, as it would have helped perfect the flow.
Good luck
* grammar - 9.8
* syntax/flow - 9.7
* understandability - 10
* uncommon theme - 10
* overall impression - 10
* effectiveness of title - 10
* ability to hook reader - 9.9
* ability to follow rules - 10
* presentation / visual appeal - 9.8
* effective use of poetic devices - 10
Total: 99.2
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I am still collecting my pieces after this contest, still can't believe... thanks once again.
~Sonja~
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A POWERFUL WRITE!!!!
There were those who treated and trained the animals with love and respect but there were so many others who did not, they only abused them and starved them.
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From you, a nature lover I couldn't expect different comment. Thank you dear friend.
~Sonja~ -
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HELLO SONJA
You are always sincerely welcome, I truly enjoy reading so very much.
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Since we don't have bears here in South Africa, a dancing bear is something I have never seen (except on tv) - but yes, it is sad that a magnificent, wild animal is forced to entertain humans. This poem shows your compassion for nature, for animals and highights the way the actions of humans deprive animals of their natural habitat. Loved the title - a very creative link you've made there. Although this is a sad tale I am happy that you gave Matilda some sense of dignity back through your words.
~ Nicolette
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Thank you dear Nicolette. Yes, I like animals and all my life I was trying to help them or to feed them. Many times it was not easy to do it but I was trying to do that the best possible way.
My cat Shakira also was rescued by my son a year and half ago and still is living at my home.
~Sonja~
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Outstanding
This poem brought tears to my eyes. It is so sad that animals can be treated in this way. I thought the second stanza was brilliant, I loved how you described the freedom she should be able to see:
the verdure of woods,
berries and wild fruits,
the immensity of mountains
This is in conflict to the reality, the endless hell of captivity. I thought you created a poem that was emotional and dark. Fantastic to read, best of luck in the contest.
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Thank you dear friend. This poem was living inside my heart for years. Unfortunately I saw people applauding watching her, never thinking that she was alive nature being, not a toy for they joy.
Recently I was talking with somebody very special about this problem and finally I decided to put it to paper.
Thank you very much for your good wishes, for this contest I will need it a lot.
~Sonja~
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