Dad, how’s it going? Mom I will miss you? Friends, family I’ll be in a better place. Just my better place isn’t with you. It’s with the long line to heaven were I awaken god’s final judgment. I’m pleased there so I don’t seem to understand why you’re weeping. Please don’t grieve. I had to die. I had to move on. Why do you even care? You were the one Dad who shut me out from the world. You told me I wasn’t good enough that I had to be better. And mom all you did was compare me to everyone else. All you told me was I needed to be prettier and smarter. You never realize how good of a daughter I really was. And friends. What friends? Jane, all you wanted from me was Eric. Kelly, you stab me in the back and told me you had wished I had died. I was just a doormat that you whipped your shoes on. I was the ugly girl because I didn’t care because I knew if I tried to look pretty I would just get rejected. My character relied on every else’s verdict. Not my own. And I was stupid to let it bother me.
Family. What did you ever do for me? All you ever really did for me was laugh. You laugh when I told you I got beat up every day at school. You laughed when I said I wanted to go places.That I wanted to go to college. I wanted to study. I wanted to go somewhere with my life. And all you did was laugh.
Today is the happiest day in my life, today is the day I die. Today I teach you that I was a smart girl, I was a good daughter. I could’ve been a great friend if you gave me a chance. But most of all I went threw life a lone. No one was beside me to tell me that everything was going to be all right. And just to ignore the people who had no idea what they were talking about. But no one was around to say anything.
Good bye. I’m in the bathroom. With a happy dagger placed into my heart. I would’ve poisoned myself but It was too complicated. I was anxious to die. Mom, Dad if you really did love me cremate me. Spread my ashes all threw the beach. And when the wave hits just right the ocean will take me. It will take me to a place unspeakable.
My flower has grown and grew old and. And my beautiful sun has set.
Good-bye all!
A contest entry
- Muses for the masses (options galore) by Goldfist.
500 points, ended March 28, 2008, 22 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
tell me what you think.
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
-
forgot to issue yor applause.
-
congradulations.
Your poem has been chosen as a preliminary finalist and will recieve applause from me before I decide on the winners. Each poem also gets an additional comment that illustrates why it was chosen as a preliminary finalist.
Honestly, I have no clue why I put this in as a finalist since it's not technically a poem. In a way it seems needlessly morbid of me to put someone elses suicide note in the finalist section. Perhaps it's because i don't just write poetry. I also write fiction, non-fiction, and I do a bit of spoken word and many of my writings use elements of each (like non-fiction that could serve well as a speech or lecture, fiction with poetic elements,etc). I suppose this makes me a bit more permissive. Though this isn't a poem, it's obvious that you know how to put words together and how to put them together well. With the right use of words, anything, any subject, any thought can be made interesting and with the right words, even the most cliche' can be made profound. -
hmmm...
not very poem-like, but not a bad piece of writing. Definitely more coherent than any of my suicide notes. I seriously hope you're not seriously going to do this, though. I just ditched the bad friends, counted the days to when school was over, and moved the hell away from my family. Just tell the world to suck a cock and do what you do. Study, read, write, whatever. Killing yourself isn't exactly good revenge, I've found. Those you wished to send a message to rarely get the intended point and merely wallow in their own selfish misery as your death becomes yet another excuse for them to continue what they already were: spiteful, bratty, insecure pricks. live long and good luck with the contest. -
My first impression is that you are saying that you yourself is going to commit suicide but i hope thats not true this is a very good piece very edgie but very true i like it it is really good.
-
I reckon with this work, a play could be in the making, or a scene anyway!
Adding your comment:
1 - 5 of 5
