(5 years)
2,000 days
Though I thought that time would stop without you.
(60 months)
6,000 dreams
That I thought I'd never see without you.
(260 weeks)
43,200,000 breaths
That I felt I couldn't breathe without you.
(48,000 hours...)
216,000,000 beats
Though I thought my heart would break without you.
(2,880,000 minutes...)
The world has gone on spinning without you
But I, I will keep count...
(172,800,000 seconds...)
What did you think
Comments
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Very nice... and opportunistically it fits in with my most recent reflections on poetry. That what poetry is supposed to be and how it is taught... more importantly what it should be...
Poetry differentiates itself in that words are composed and structured in such a way to conjur an emotional response... Like a painting becomes more than the sum of the brush strokes... All-be-it and likely more-the-better for being unconventional, this works well and develops a real feeling of poingiency.
For most people, I might generally stress that it's a bad idea to break so many rules of poetry, but in your case, I'm glad you did.
Rainbows,
~RJ~
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i like the timeline also. five years is a long time...
'But I, I will keep count...' is a perfect ending
thanks for sharing this one
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I like the timeline idea. It shows more clearly the "nothing else matters anymore" feeling of lost love. Good Write.
-Snow
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what a lovely but bittersweet idea, to track the many increments of what you had and what you've lost, growing number by the numbers, this is an interesting poem for sure....Artis
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