As the sun desends the moon shall arise
My heart contends trying to avoid demise
My love soars across this coal black sky
Without your loss, you love all thats in my eyes
feeling franticly alone tears form once again
sitting here at home as the sun desends
There is a light in my darkness blackness so true
there is flight in my heart, one way ticket to you
You are the one who cared when noone else could
You are the one who shared, she who understood
so now my Sun arizes my swift beating heart now free
You are there beside me, Your love all now I see
A year has passed since that darkend day
a year of happiness and I have not lead astray
beating swift yet still my heart hear for you
my soul my will , my thoughts all so true
My light in the darkness my dream to be
alone no more, I have you, you have me
A contest entry
- LOVE: Made for Each Other by Shenanigans.
1000 points, ended December 15, 2007, 20 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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Oh wow! This one was beautiful! I am speechless, I wouldn't change a thing! (Except a couple spelling errors, but I'm not a grammar judge). Oh my gosh though, the sentiments--I am seriously impressed that you could cram the pain of love lost and regained into three short, powerful stanzas. Bravo! Good luck in the contest!
--Shannon -
wow very good! I see you found somthing that made you feel thats good, andon top of that..it seems that yourn getting better with love!
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ah, yet another poem revealing your greatness as a poet. and, ah ha, i see your spelling is improving as well. way to go. i don't think anything else needs to be said, sometimes words just don't cut it. on that note, not even keep up the great writing needs to be said, because i know you will.
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The feeling of being loved seem to matter to allot people and extend your emotion by form of poetry, is interesting. Typical love poems run short normally in level of appeals, simply because I am not a love poem type of guy but this verse really got my attention:
"A year has passed since that darkend day
a year of happiness and I have not lead astray
beating swift yet still my heart hear for you
my soul my will , my thoughts all so true
My light in the darkness my dream to be
alone no more, I have you, you have me"
I found that I can sense your high level compassion in this poem, and a job well done. The goal of poetry is have a connection and in this case I have felt it.
Nice,
wonderFOOL -
Wonderful poem once again. Words cannot really explain what I think about it. Its really nicely written. Each word flows nicely onto the next and no words seem to get stuck.
Really nicely done once again. The same high standard has been kept.
Keep it up (which is pointless saying since I Know you will anyway)
Emma
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