In the beginning we are unknown of life
we have no knowledge whatsoever to guide our way
Except for those one or two people. Knowledge they display
Growing up with hatred, strengthened my emotions
it gave me courage, and my anger chose my choices
I was unstoppable, I listened to those callous voices
It wasn't till I realized, that life I was brought up in,
was to show we can't expose weakness
And that was my punishment, to be consumed with meekness
Now I understand though, the life he tried to show me
the life that swallowed you whole, and spit you out
But now I know I never gave up, but remained devout
So how do we preach what we've been taught?
Do you let your children grow up hating your soul?
Or do you let your children get swallowed whole
......(dramatic voice) By the (looks around) World...
*bows*
A contest entry
- The Next Big Thing by Nicole Hanna.
18000 points, ended December 20, 2007, 22 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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wow unlike many of the people who commented on this I actually like this poem...not to mention I found the ending "dramatic voice" quite funny...
"the life that swallowed you whole, and spit you out"
this is my favorite line btw -
I was a little confused by the grammar of this poem. Sentences, thoughts... they just didn't meld very well. Obviously, I can't check your author page, since this is anonymous, so I hope you aren't offended and come back saying "but I'm not American!" or "English isn't my first language". That's understandable, but really.... honestly... this isn't. If English is your first language, please consider researching the proper grammatical use of words and phrases a little more. The "dramatic voice" and "looks around" bits at the end almost had me laughing, and not necessarily in a good way. I mean, is this a play? Your poetic words such express the drama, not you telling me there's some random disembodied dramatic voice floating around. It was just a little... strange. But, thanks for entering. I appreciate that you took the time regardless.
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Almost enough
to make me quit using rhyme, AND writing spoken word. I can just see myself raising my voice to say, "Dramatic voice", "Only the fleet of feet can retreat from the truth we MUST meet!"
Truly, there seem to be efforts at a healing sort of piece here, a very good attempt at examination of important relationships, etc. But a bit clumsy and devoid of poetic tools. Nicole was kind... -
"I was a little confused by the grammar of this poem. Sentences, thoughts... they just didn't meld very well."
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If you don't understand a poem, don't comment on it. Instead keep on reading it, and try to open up your mind. Instead of being so closed minded.
"so I hope you aren't offended and come back saying "but I'm not American!"
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Lol. Well no I'm not american. So I guess according to you that would make my... Anyones ability to speak english/write english garbage?
" ...It was just a little... strange."
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You either have a bad sex life, or you are the incredibly boring/dull one..
Lrn2lolk?
lol
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Not garbage, just confusing.
And sadly... an incredibly dull one. LOL -
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much like the dildo you use eh?
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Sigh... amen.
LOL
Oh hell, I'm so glad I can laugh at that, because otherwise I'd be forced to slit my own wrists. lol
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